


kiss me (like you wanna be loved)

by bapaldeul



Series: the breakfast club au [2]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - The Breakfast Club Fusion, Breakfast Club References, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, the breakfast club sequel, they are still teenagers and make questionable decisions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 00:40:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14581155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bapaldeul/pseuds/bapaldeul
Summary: “Look at you, already addicted to weed.""Nope, just addicted to you."a sequel to "see us as we are" - the breakfast club au





	1. the night after

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!
> 
> i am back with a sequel *pops confetti*
> 
> thank u so much for the immense love on this story legend has it i'm still crying over all your comments and kind words,, so i decided we all deserved this sequel and so do our lovely characters :)
> 
> just a note that drugs/sex/child abuse may be lightly discussed in this story but i will not make anything explicit. they are teenagers who are still learning to make mistakes and find their way around life.

It’s a busy night. One you would expect on a Saturday night in the heart of Seoul. There’s the occasional brushing of shoulders when people walk past each other, and then there’s the loud voices from different conversations that fill your head – and you feel yourself just being.

 

Just being here, in this world. Merely existing, with no goal or purpose in mind.

 

This is how Minhyun would explain how he feels most of the time.

 

Lost, mostly.

 

Tonight is a little different. There’s still the blaring of the latest music releases from all the different shops, and they mash together and form an incoherent melody in the background.

 

But there’s also the lingering hands between the two that are just waiting to be held, _wanting to be held_ yet none of them know how exactly to voice it out loud.

 

When their fingers brush against the other for just a fucking second and they look up and meet the other’s eyes and see the crinkle that forms at the sides of their eyes when they smile, embarrassed – Minhyun thinks he finally feels that this world makes some sense.

 

Seongwoo pulls Minhyun closer just to lean into his ear (he’s just a tad bit shorter than Minhyun is), and while his breath tickles Minhyun’s neck and sends shivers down his spine, Minhyun still manages to hear him through the blaring music.

 

“Let’s grab a bite, shall we?”

 

Minhyun can’t control the smile that greets his face immediately after, and nods. Seongwoo pulls him into a dimly lit eatery, and that’s all Minhyun really notices because he’s so fixated on the other boy that his surroundings disappear.

 

And then he realises; maybe there just hasn’t been enough this world has offered him for him to care enough to notice. It’s really not fair, for Minhyun to be kept in the dark about how beautiful the world can look until today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon feels the suffocating excitement in the air even before they step anywhere near the field. From afar, he recognises some people in shirts of their school colours streaming into the venue.

 

He’s already tired, from the whole detention thing in the morning. And the idea of having to see more people from his school on the weekend is already sucking him dry of his energy. Unconsciously, he stiffens and puts a space between him and Daniel.

 

“I’m sorry,” Daniel says from beside him. “This was a bad idea, wasn’t it?”

 

Jihoon just fixes his gaze in front of him. Maybe Daniel is right – about this being a bad idea, because Jihoon’s stomach is churning in a bad way now. His throat is dry and he just can’t seem to find the right words for Daniel.

 

“I’ll live,” Jihoon admits. “Besides, I want to watch you play. I’ll be okay.”

 

Daniel slings an arm over his shoulder protectively, and for a moment, Jihoon relaxes. He’s been in this position way too many times. He looks up to meet Daniel’s eyes, and he really hopes that this time, something is different.

 

They’re already getting a few stares thrown at them, and while Jihoon is usually immune to this sort of attention, he’s feeling uncomfortable. Still, Daniel’s arm doesn’t leave his shoulder and Jihoon just keeps his head up, but blurs his vision just so that he won’t meet anyone else’s eyes.

 

“Wait here,” Daniel instructs once they come to an open door. Inside, Jihoon can hear a loud and deep voice giving instructions, and deduces it should be Daniel’s coach. “I’ll go and change. You’re going to be okay on your own, right?”

 

“Of course,” Jihoon nods, hoping to give Daniel some sort of assurance. “Go in, quick.”

 

Daniel gives Jihoon a look that tells him Daniel isn’t really worried about Jihoon taking care of himself but something else. Still, Daniel gives Jihoon’s hand a small squeeze, sending electric volts up his spine before disappearing into the room.

 

Jihoon finally feels like he can breathe. He takes a quick look around, and some people immediately turn their heads away, obviously staring before. Jihoon tries to keep himself busy with his phone, and hopes Daniel will come out soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel doesn’t miss the subtle jaw clench from his coach as he interrupts the pre-game meeting. He bows his head as a form of apology, tugs his shirt upwards and quickly puts on his uniform, then joins the team.

 

All his coach’s instructions fly past, and all Daniel is really thinking about is Jihoon. He’s already feeling jittery from holding Jihoon’s hand in public earlier. It’s not fair to Jihoon – but he’s trying not to pay attention to what others think of him.

 

“That’s all,” he hears his coach concluding. “I know how hard you guys have worked for this. Let’s not have all our hard work go down the drain. Now, go out there and do your warmups.”

 

Daniel’s teammates start to stream out of the waiting room, and Daniel tries to blend in with the crowd in hopes of escaping the claws of his coach and also to get to Jihoon sooner.

 

“Kang Daniel,” his coach barks, and Daniel immediately stops in his tracks and walks with his (invisible) tail between his legs towards the man. His coach glowers at him for a moment and finally asks, “Where were you the entire afternoon?”

 

“I was at school, coach,” Daniel answers vaguely.

 

“For what, exactly?” his coach questions. “If you had the courage to make a mistake, why don’t you have the same courage to admit it?”

 

Something pricks at Daniel’s chest and he can feel his face heat up in embarrassment. He tries forming an excuse, but realises that his coach is right, and keeps silent.

 

“I have half a mind to kick you off the team, knowing what you did,” his coach admits. “But since the principal has specially requested for you to stay, you better prove that you’re worthy of your title. And I don’t mean just in the field, do you understand?”

 

Maybe it’s because this is the first time someone is chewing him out for what he did. His coach sounds mad, no, livid. Daniel finally feels normal, like he doesn’t have a shield in front of him to protect him anymore. He’s finally on the same level as everyone else, and that alone makes him happy.

 

Daniel nods, “Thank you so much, coach. I’ll reflect and correct my mistakes as soon as I can. And I’m sorry.”

 

His coach hums softly, “Now get out of here and start warming up.”

 

Daniel is definitely going to apologize again to his coach later on, but first – the game. Daniel grabs his jacket, thinking of Jihoon waiting outside for him (and possibly hearing him get yelled at by his coach) and rushes outside.

 

What greets him doesn’t make him very happy. His steps slow to a stop as he watches Jihoon holding another jacket in his arms, eyes looking up at a tall boy with a mop of black hair. From here, Daniel can see Donghan smiling, and Jihoon’s not doing anything except listening to him talk.

 

He’s marching over even before he can assess the situation. Donghan is holding onto Jihoon’s arm, which honestly makes Daniel see red.

 

Fuck if anyone sees – Park Jihoon is his.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon finally lifts his head when he sees a flurry of boys in the same set of uniform stream out of the room, and hopes he can catch Daniel as well. While he’s squinting through the unfamiliar faces, someone stops right in front of him.

 

“Dan-“ Jihoon begins, and a breath catches in his throat. “ _You’re_ not Daniel.”

 

“But you do remember me, don’t you?” the boy smiles. Of course, Jihoon remembers. The hell, Jihoon even remembers how he got his hopes up with Kim Donghan just because the boy had asked to meet him at the school’s rooftop with a bouquet of flowers.

 

Jihoon just keeps his mouth shut, because he doesn’t know what to say.

 

“You look cold,” Donghan observes. “Do you want to borrow my jacket? You can give it back to me after the game.”

 

Jihoon doesn’t even get a word in, because Donghan takes his hand and dumps his jacket into his arms. It’s the same one Daniel has.

 

That same smile, the same fucking damned smile that Donghan has still makes Jihoon second-guess his choice. Was Donghan this caring back then, too?

 

“I-“

 

“Done catching up?” a voice interrupts before Jihoon can continue. He turns to the side, and sees Daniel, now changed into his uniform, walking over to them.

 

“Hey, hyung,” Donghan greets cheerfully, obviously oblivious to Daniel’s practically red face. “This is-“

 

“Park Jihoon,” Daniel completes his sentence for him. “Yeah, I know. He’s with me.”

 

Jihoon observes Donghan’s confused face, then when he hits the realization stage, his jaw drops. There’s an awkward silence between the three, until Daniel takes Donghan’s jacket out of Jihoon’s arms and hands it back to its owner.

 

“You okay?” Daniel asks, holding Jihoon’s hand.

 

Jihoon takes a second to realise that Daniel is talking to him.

 

Finally, he smiles, and tightens his grip around Daniel’s hand.

 

“Yeah.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In any given context, staring at someone for any longer than a few minutes would be creepy. But Seongwoo can’t help it, the longer he stares at Hwang Minhyun, the more he doesn’t want to look away.

 

“Stop it,” Minhyun concedes defeat after their gazes meet for the fifth time under the dim lights of the restaurant. He leans back in his chair, finally giving up, and pleads, “Say something, instead of staring at me.”

 

_You’re beautiful, you know that?_

 

Of course, Seongwoo doesn’t say that aloud. He finally diverts his gaze from Minhyun.

 

“You’re not on a salad only diet, are you?” he asks. “It would be such a waste if I were dating someone that can’t eat meat. Still, I’m not judging.”

 

“Who says we’re dating,” Minhyun quips, bringing a smile to Seongwoo’s lips. Seongwoo raises his arm, and the owner of the small stall nods, and says she’ll attend to them in a minute. “No, I can eat meat.”

 

“Good,” Seongwoo says. “Do you want a beer?”

 

“We’re underage,” Minhyun hisses under his breath.

 

Seongwoo tries to supress a chuckle. He hopes Minhyun never changes, because he likes the man in front of him too much.

 

“And you just smoked weed,” Seongwoo grins like it’s nothing.

 

“Shut up,” Minhyun stomps on Seongwoo’s foot lightly from under the table. He shuts his mouth immediately and goes back to sitting upright when the owner comes over. Seongwoo waves hello to the 60-year-old woman, and she lights up like a bulb.

 

“Brought a friend along with you today?” she asks.

 

“Ah, yes. Hello,” Minhyun smiles amicably, and Seongwoo can’t help but admire the way Minhyun carries himself around other people. It’s so easy to like him. (Seongwoo can vouch for that.)

 

“We’ll have my usual beef noodles,” Seongwoo says without even looking at the menu. “And two glasses of beer.”

 

The owner frowns disapprovingly and looks at Minhyun, “He’s always like this. Make sure he doesn’t get drunk, okay? Hmph, kids these days. I’ll just give you one to share, that’s all.”

 

She shuffles away, attending to another group of customers at the back. Seongwoo offers Minhyun a tiny smile, and wonders just for a second, if he’s being a bad influence.

 

Drugs, drinking, and overall being an asshole. This can’t be good for Minhyun’s reputation.

 

“So,” Seongwoo twirls the pair of chopsticks in his hands. “It’s a Saturday night, why don’t you want to go home?”

 

Minhyun’s eyes flash with uncertainty, and Seongwoo can practically hear his thoughts from here.

 

_Why am I here? Instead of enjoying a feast with my parents, why am I having dinner with the school’s criminal in a cheap restaurant?_

 

Minhyun is probably wondering all of this, isn't he?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sungwoon starts to wish that he hadn’t agreed to this. His heart feels like it’s going to jump out of his throat, and his hands have gone all clammy.

 

 _Oh God_ – what if Taehyun wants to hold his hand later on and he’s going to be so gross and Taehyun might never want to hold his hand again.

 

Sungwoon groans internally.

 

_Who says Taehyun wants to hold your hand?_

 

“Hey!” a bright voice interrupts Sungwoon’s dilemma and he looks up to see Taehyun returning with a tray full of food. He sets the tray down and slips into the chair opposite Sungwoon.

 

Sungwoon can’t help but think oh my god he looks so cute in that denim jacket.

 

“This is a lot of food,” Sungwoon observes. They’re at a café near Sungwoon’s house, all because Sungwoon has a dumbass curfew of 10pm. He’d gathered all his courage to tell Taehyun that they probably wouldn’t be able to go far tonight. Thankfully, Taehyun had suggested having dinner nearer to his house so they wouldn’t waste too much time travelling.

 

“You were the one who told me to order whatever I liked,” Taehyun replies. “Plus, I owe you.”

 

There Taehyun goes again, Sungwoon thinks. It’s not that he hates it, but the more Taehyun keeps bringing up their cursed date that never happened, the more Sungwoon starts to think that Taehyun asked him out to eat just to make up for the previous time.

 

_But Taehyun is a nice guy. He’s just being nice… right?_

 

“Good thing I’m hungry,” Sungwoon smiles, picking up his fork despite the insecurities bubbling in his belly. “Come on, dig in.”

 

Somehow, he misses the lack of attention the other four used to give him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel brings Jihoon to the best seat in the house. He sits the boy down in the front row just behind the safety barriers, and hands his jacket to Jihoon, who just peers up at him curiously.

 

“Just in case you miss me,” Daniel ruffles Jihoon’s hair softly. Even if Daniel desperately wants to hide in a hole with all the stares that they’re getting right now, he can’t hold himself back from showing affection to Jihoon. His protective instincts are heightened now, especially after seeing Donghan chat Jihoon up again.

 

He trusts Jihoon with his entire heart, he just doesn’t trust anyone else.

 

“You are overthinking again,” Jihoon tugs on the hem of his shirt. “I think your team is waiting to do some warm ups, you should get going.”

 

Daniel looks back, and his coach is directing his death glare at him.

 

“Okay, let’s talk later.”

 

Daniel jogs to the field to join his team. He gulps when he sees the opposing team practicing as well, and they look like they’re in top form today – when he most definitely is not. He practices a few drills with his teammates, who don’t say a word to him.

 

He wonders if it’s because they know what Daniel did to land himself in detention, or if it’s because he’d brought a boy to their game, instead of a cute girl like he always does.

 

Daniel doesn’t know which one is worse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon clutches Daniel’s jacket tight in his arms. There’s no denying that the other boy looks so out of it in the field. Jihoon knows nothing about football, but from the way Daniel is missing all the passes from his teammates, he knows it can’t be good news for their team.

 

Saying a silent prayer, Jihoon keeps his eyes peeled on the star player as the whistle blows again to signal the official start of the game.

_You can do this_ , Jihoon silently screams.

 

His voice is drowned out when the crowd cheers – when his golden boy makes the first goal for his team.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_I can do this, Jihoon is watching. I can do this, Jihoon is watching, I can do this._

 

That’s all Daniel is thinking of when he runs ahead with the ball between his legs, dodging the defenders that try to steal the ball from him. Swiftly, he sprints past them and sets his eyes on the goal ahead of him.

 

The opposing team’s goalkeeper is determined not to let Daniel score, but Daniel doesn’t let them affect him the least bit. He wants to prove his worth on the team, and prove that he is worthy of many other things.

 

Like loving Jihoon.

 

With a swift kick, Daniel watches in slow-motion as his ball curves towards the goal, and for a moment, Daniel thinks that he’s not going to make it. The goalkeeper dives to defend their goal, but it’s too late.

 

The crowd roars even before Daniel can process what just happened. His teammates scoop him up into their arms and throw him in the air to celebrate their first goal. One moment his feet are on the ground, and the next moment he’s in the air, grinning from ear to ear as he watches Jihoon stand on his feet to clap and cheer for him.

 

“You did it! Good job Niel!” someone shouts from behind him as he gets let down onto the ground again.

 

His teammates pat him encouragingly on his back, thank him, and get back into position.

 

From the seats, Jihoon is still smiling as brightly as ever and Daniel doesn’t think he’s ever seen such a genuine smile from Jihoon since, well, 10 hours ago. He waves to Jihoon, who waves back enthusiastically, Daniel’s jacket still in his arms.

 

Ah, this is what success feels like, Daniel gushes internally. He’s too busy staring at Jihoon, he doesn’t hear the whistle being blown.

 

One second he’s staring at the most beautiful boy in the word, and the next second he gets hit in the face.

 

Hard.

 

And lands on the ground with a face full of grass and a stomach full of regret and embarrassment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyun’s phone buzzes, and he finally lifts his gaze from Seongwoo’s face to look at the notification. It’s his mother, asking him where he is, and why he isn’t home yet from detention when his father is already on the way home for dinner.

 

He stares at his half-finished bowl of beef noodles and then at Seongwoo, who takes a sip of his beer while observing Minhyun.

 

He sighs, and turns his phone off.

 

“It looks urgent,” Seongwoo clears his throat. “You sure you don’t need to reply to that?”

 

“It’s just my mom,” Minhyun shrugs, shoving a spoon of beef noodles into his mouth. Suddenly, it doesn’t taste as good anymore. “My dad’s coming back for dinner today.”

 

Pausing, Minhyun swallows his food and Seongwoo waits patiently for him to continue.

 

“She must have called him to come over to come and talk to him, as if I’ll suddenly be okay with everything when he comes over. I mean, they’re the direct cause of my stress. Dealing with their arguments and divorce really broke me,” Minhyun confesses.

 

He stops, realising he’s never said all of this out loud.

 

Seongwoo’s expression doesn’t change. There’s no pity, or sadness evident on his face. And Minhyun is thankful, because he gets enough of that daily from his so-called friends, his psychiatrist, and his own parents.

 

“Have you ever told her?” Seongwoo asks. “How you’re really feeling.”

 

Minhyun shakes his head, “I don’t think she would understand; this feeling of being, yet not living. It sucks and I feel so, so alone in this world. The world is spinning on its axis, and people are moving along with their lives, yet I am still here.

 

At square fucking one.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo doesn’t know whether he’s allowed to take Minhyun’s hand. More like, whether he should take Minhyun’s hand. They’ve been walking in silence for a while now, and it’s healing, to be walking next to someone, yet he doesn’t feel the need to fill the silence with any form of talking.

 

For the first time, Seongwoo doesn’t know what to say in response to someone else’s words.

 

He’s always had a reply. Even if he doesn’t have the answers, he has to say something; the first thing that comes to his mind He’s done it many times over – why can’t he just do the same to Minhyun?

 

Minhyun’s problem is so raw, so innocent that Seongwoo doesn’t know what to do with it. Minhyun hasn’t been influenced by the society, and neither does he make stupid decisions. Minhyun is just Minhyun, he’s struggling to open his eyes and see beyond his problems.

 

“Can we sit at the swings?” Minhyun asks, pointing to a playground to their right.

 

Seongwoo nods, following Minhyun to the playground, and watches as Minhyun lightly pushes himself off the ground.

 

“Do you have a dream?”

 

“Huh?” Seongwoo looks at Minhyun, who puts his legs down on the ground to slow down to a stop.

 

“What’s your dream? What do you want to do when you grow up?”

 

“Why do people always ask what I want to do when I grow up? Why do they never ask what I want to do now, at this moment? Isn’t that more important than what I want to do in the future?”

 

Minhyun chuckles.

 

“As expected of you, Ong Seongwoo. So, what do you want to do now?”

 

Seongwoo laughs emptily, “I have no fucking idea.”

 

Minhyun joins him with his hearty laughter, and Seongwoo thinks it would be very nice if he could hear Minhyun laugh for a very long time. Seongwoo gets up from his swing, dusts his hands on his jeans.

 

“Let’s sit up there.”

 

“Up there? With the slides? Those are for children.”

 

“So are the swings, but here _you_ are, ass on the swing.”

 

“Touché,” Minhyun comments, and follows Seongwoo up the slide and sits at the top level of the playground. There isn’t much space for the both of them to sit, but they make it work. Their knees touch as their backs lean against the plastic walls.

 

Seongwoo feels nice, like he’s at the top of the castle. Beside him, is his prince, looking up at the night sky again.

 

“Don’t you have a curfew?” Seongwoo asks.

 

“Since when do you care about whether I have curfews or not,” Minhyun narrows his eyes suspiciously at Seongwoo. “Do you have plans after this?”

 

“I’m just asking,” Seongwoo holds his hands up in surrender position. “Your parents seem really… strict. I just don’t want you to get into trouble because of me.”

 

“Aw,” Minhyun coos, making Seongwoo’s face heat up. He’s thankful it’s late and dark out, because he’s sure his face is flushed in an embarrassing red right now. “I’m honoured to be cared for by Ong Seongwoo. But I’ll live. I’m already in so much trouble, why not get into more?”

 

“Oh really?” Seongwoo smiles. “Like what?”

 

Minhyun’s eyes widen, like he wasn’t expecting Seongwoo to ask him that at all.

 

“Well…” Minhyun drags out his words, which Seongwoo finds unexplainably cute. “Like… skipping school and getting into detention. And smoking weed, and drinking alcohol. And not going home, and not replying my messages. And… being here with you.”

 

Seongwoo gently draws his thumb over the outline of Minhyun’s jaw.

 

“Would you… get into more trouble for kissing me?”

 

Minhyun’s eyes reflect the moonlight above them, and Seongwoo feels his breath being snatched away. In all his many years of living, he has never seen anyone as ethereal as Hwang Minhyun.

 

“Yes,” Minhyun gulps. “A lot of trouble.”

 

“Do you care?”

 

It’s a trick question, of course, Seongwoo is going to kiss Minhyun anyway. There is no way he’s not going to – not when Minhyun looks like this. He pulls at all the right heartstrings in Seongwoo’s heart, and Seongwoo thinks it’s really unfair for someone he’s known for barely twenty-four hours to already have his entire heart.

 

“No.”

 

Seongwoo leans in first this time, capturing Minhyun’s lips with his. It’s déjà vu from hours ago, when they had their first kiss in the dusty library room. Somehow, this is much better. There’s no one in the playground except them, and Seongwoo allows the darkness to envelope them as he continues to softly graze Minhyun’s lips.

 

“You’re killing me,” Minhyun groans. “Just kiss me for real.”

 

“You’ll get into trouble,” Seongwoo giggles, detaching himself to look properly at Minhyun.

 

“Fine,” Seongwoo rolls his eyes when Minhyun pouts. “Come here.”

 

Minhyun gladly shifts himself so that they’re facing each other.

 

Seongwoo almost groans out loud when he tastes Minhyun on his lips – sweet and irresistible. The air is filled with soft echoes of their sweet kisses, and Seongwoo bathes in the attention that Minhyun is giving him.

 

“Hm… what are we,” Seongwoo mumbles into their kiss.

 

“Anything you want us to be,” Minhyun replies briskly, cupping Seongwoo’s chin with his right hand and pulling him even closer.

 

“Even boyfriends?”

 

Minhyun smiles when they part.

 

“Depends,” Minhyun teases. “Is there going to be weed involved?”

 

“Look at you, already addicted to weed,” Seongwoo chides, shaking his head disapprovingly.

 

“Nope,” Minhyun grins, crashing their lips together again. “Just addicted to you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sungwoon starts to wonder if he’s an overthinker. He had overthought the date, but it turned out pretty well. Taehyun was a gentleman the entire night, he’d even fed Sungwoon a bite or two of his food.

 

(It makes Sungwoon embarrassed to think about, but deep down, he’d secretly enjoyed that.)

 

Time passes too fast when he’s having fun, and Sungwoon is just starting to feel himself get accustomed to the feeling of butterflies in his chest when night falls and Taehyun offers to bring him home for the night.

 

“You really don’t have to,” Sungwoon says for the nth time.

 

“Sungwoon,” Taehyun says in a disapproving tone. “I’m walking you home and that is that. What’s wrong? You want me to leave?”

 

Sungwoon panics, “No, no! I-I like y- I like your company! I just don’t want to trouble you.”

 

He sheepishly rubs his arms to cover up his panicked state. It’s not every day your crush walks you back after taking you out for dinner. Okay, it’s never happened to him in his life. He still feels like he’s dreaming whenever he meets Taehyun’s gaze.

_He’s here. He’s really here, in front of me._

 

Sungwoon feels giddy when Taehyun smiles at him, almost in disbelief at how he could have the power to be the receiver of Noh Taehyun’s smile.

 

“Are your parents mad?” Taehyun asks. “About the whole detention thing.”

 

“Very,” Sungwoon says seriously, rubbing his neck awkwardly. Don’t get him wrong, he’s up for any type of conversation with Taehyun, he just wasn’t expecting to talk about what landed him in detention on a Saturday morning. “I’m kind of grounded, so.”

 

“Yet you are here,” Taehyun teases.

 

Sungwoon feels his face flush red and hopes that Taehyun doesn’t notice.

_Yeah, because it’s you_.

 

“Making the best of my last few hours as a free man,” Sungwoon attempts at some kind of humour.

 

He’s sure he’s going to get yelled at when he gets back home for not going right home after detention. His mother is probably going to give him the cold shoulder, and his dad is going to blame it on him not studying hard enough, and having too much free time to get into trouble.

 

 _I tried_ , Sungwoon wants to scream at them. _Can’t you see that I’ve tried my best?_

 

“Are you okay?” Taehyun’s voice pierces through his thoughts. “You’re thinking… really hard.”

 

“Yeah,” Sungwoon answers meekly. “Sorry.”

 

“Why are you apologizing?” Taehyun frowns.

 

“For not talking to you when we’re on a date,” Sungwoon shrugs. “For being so out of it. For not trying to engage you in conversation. I’m sorry for everything, I guess.”

 

Thing is, Sungwoon has grown so accustomed to apologizing he realises that he does it without thinking anymore. It’s almost a habit, for him to apologize even though he’s done nothing wrong, when people are upset with him.

 

“You’re impossible,” Taehyun mutters, taking Sungwoon’s small hand in his.

 

Sungwoon thinks his heart stops right there and then.

 

“W-what are we doing?” Sungwoon stumbles over his words, refusing to believe that the Noh Taehyun is actually holding his hand right now.

 

Taehyun doesn’t let Sungwoon squirm away. Instead, he holds onto Sungwoon’s hand tight, not caring if there are people around who throw them dirty looks or confused stares.

 

“You,” Taehyun only stops brisk-walking when they’re in front of Sungwoon’s house. “Have to stop apologizing for everything. Now.”

 

Sungwoon’s eyes grow wide in shock.

 

“You’re a good person,” Taehyun says. “You’re funny and nice to be around. What’s there to apologize about if you’ve done nothing wrong? If someone has to apologise, it should be me.”

 

“Taehyun-“

 

The door behind Sungwoon clicks open, and he jumps up in shock. Thankfully, Taehyun catches him before he can fall down.

 

In front of them, Sungwoon’s father surveys the two boys, and their intertwined fingers.

 

“Who is this?”

 

“Dad,” Sungwoon jumps in to save Taehyun.

 

“I said, who is this?” Sungwoon flinches when his father raises his voice. He looks red with anger, and Sungwoon quickly unlatches his fingers from Taehyun’s, even though he desires to hold them forever.

 

“I’m Noh Taehyun,” Taehyun's voice trembles, but he stands his ground. “I’m from Sungwoon’s school. It’s nice to meet you, Mr Ha.”

 

“It’s not so nice when you’re holding my son’s hand,” his father snaps, grabbing Sungwoon’s arm hard and dragging him inside the house. Taehyun only observes helplessly, although Sungwoon can tell that he really wants to say something.

 

“Stay away from my son,” his father says coldly as a closing statement and slams the door in Taehyun’s face.

 

“Dad!” Sungwoon yells as soon as the door is closed.

 

“Is this why?” his father shouts, pointing to the closed door. “You’re going out with boys now? That’s why your grades are dropping? That’s why you got into trouble?”

 

“You don’t know anything!” Sungwoon yells, tears already pooling in his eyes.

 

But he refuses to cry. Not when he is not in the wrong.

 

“Go to your room,” his father dismisses. “We will talk about this tomorrow. And by the way, if it wasn’t already clear from before, you are grounded until further notice.”

 

Sungwoon can feel his chest bubbling with anger as he supresses the desire to defend Taehyun and himself. He opens his mouth, but no words come out. His heart stings remembering the disgust in his father’s eyes when he had looked at Taehyun.

 

Oh, the betrayal he feels at the reaction towards the only person that has made Sungwoon smile for the first time in a while.

 

Sungwoon runs up to his room, and slams the door shut.

 

He rushes to the window, and finds Taehyun still standing outside his front door, looking like he’s contemplating hard about something. After a while, Taehyun finally turns and leaves.

 

Sungwoon knows Taehyun told him not to,

 

But he’s sorry, he’s so, so, sorry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You are a fucking idiot,” is the first thing Daniel hears when he’s finally let out of the sick bay (after persuading the nurses and his coach that he feels fine and just wants to get out to the field again.)

 

It’s comforting, to know that Jihoon has been waiting for him the entire time he was getting treated.

 

“Do you have any idea how scary it is to watch you slam onto the ground and not move for a whole ten seconds?” Jihoon yells.

 

Daniel lowers his head, mumbling, “I’m sorry.”

 

And then Jihoon something Daniel least expects him to do.

 

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” Jihoon says, crashing into Daniel as he wraps him in a tight hug. For a moment, Daniel’s head finally stops hurting and his left cheek doesn’t feel as sore as before. He returns the hug, relishing in the moment.

 

“Did we win?” Daniel asks.

 

“Yeah,” Jihoon nods. “1-0. Your only goal won the game.”

 

“I guess this was worth it then,” Daniel chuckles, pointing to his bruised cheek.

 

For a moment, Jihoon looks concerned.

 

Then, he kicks Daniel lightly in the shin. But that doesn’t stop Daniel from pretending to fall onto the ground and clutch his leg in pain. (He’s kind of an expert in that.)

 

“Oh my god,” Jihoon panics. “Are you okay? I’m sorry, I-“

 

“Gotcha,” Daniel grins cheekily in accomplishment.

 

“I hate you,” Jihoon coldly says and marches away, leaving Daniel to get up on his own. Giggling to himself, Daniel dusts himself off and runs after the other boy, clinging on like a koala to Jihoon’s arm and begging for Jihoon to give him some attention.

 

“Come on, you know I was just kidding,” Daniel pouts when Jihoon continues to ignore him. “Just playing around, you know? I-“

 

“Hyung-“

 

Daniel finally lifts his eyes from Jihoon to see a familiar face with an awkward stance waiting just outside the entrance of the field for him. Instantly, he tightens his grip around Jihoon’s arm and slides his hand down just so that he can feel Jihoon’s fingers intertwine with his.

 

“Woojin.”

 

Woojin’s eyes flicker with something between fear and nervousness. Daniel gulps; wondering how they’d managed to come to this stage with the addition of one more person.

 

Jihoon.

 

“Are you okay?” Woojin asks, tone laced with concerned, and Daniel’s heart softens just a little. Woojin is his teammate, his friend, someone that has always given him a pat on the back when he gets chewed out by his coach for not playing well. Why is he suddenly acting so cold towards Woojin now?

 

“I’m fine,” Daniel replies, then tries to elaborate so he doesn’t sound as unwilling to talk to Woojin right now. “Good job on winning the game for us.”

 

“I didn’t do anything,” Woojin shrugs. “Are you coming for the celebratory dinner? It wouldn’t be the same without our captain there.”

 

Daniel looks down at Jihoon, who already has his head down, as if he doesn’t want to look straight at Woojin. Squeezing Jihoon’s hand tight, Daniel shakes his head, “I’m going to have to pass up this one, because I already made plans. Tell the rest I’ll buy them all drinks for practice on Monday!”

 

With that, Daniel leads Jihoon away fast.

 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Jihoon says when they’re out of earshot.

 

“Do what?” Daniel says while boarding the bus. He lets Jihoon sit on the inside.

 

“Be like that to Woojin,” Jihoon sighs. “He’s still your friend. Just because we slept together once shouldn’t mean anything to your friendship.”

 

Daniel’s jaw tightens. It shouldn’t bother him, but it does. He starts to wish that Jihoon had never told him about Woojin and Donghan. Even if it’s not supposed to change anything, it still does.

 

Maybe the truth isn’t pretty, but he will learn to deal with it. Not everything in his life is going to be rainbows and unicorns from now on, not when he’s falling madly in love with Park Jihoon. And maybe the problem doesn’t lie with Jihoon – it lies with himself.

 

They don’t talk for the rest of the bus ride.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The chicken place is full, as it should be on a Saturday night. It’s bustling with people, and there’s even a long line outside the eatery, and Jihoon is not ready to stand outside for an hour to wait for chicken.

 

Daniel looks a little disappointed, but he still tries not to show it on his face.

 

Jihoon gulps, not knowing if he should ask Daniel the next question. They still haven’t talked since the little fiasco on the bus. The tension in the air is thick, and Jihoon is afraid to say anything to break it.

 

“Hey,” he tugs on Daniel’s shirt softly when they make three rounds around the same few shops. The lines don’t seem to be moving, and Jihoon doesn’t have much hope to get a seat soon as the dinner crowd starts to roll in.

 

“Do you want to come over to my place?”

 

“Y-your place?”

 

Jihoon fiddles with the ends of his shirt, “Yeah, we could sit around and call for delivery instead of waiting here. We could talk… and maybe we could… ah, I don’t know. I just thought that would be better than-“

 

“Jihoon?” Daniel interrupts him.

 

“Yeah?” Jihoon replies, uncertain whether Daniel is going to reject him. After all, going to his house is a little too close for comfort, right? He curses internally, wondering if the words had sounded too natural coming out of his mouth.

 

He knows he’s said it a million times to many other boys. But this time is different – he really wants Daniel to come over, make his home a little less lonely, a little warmer and maybe they can eat chicken and laugh at silly jokes.

 

Just for a change.

 

“Let’s go to your place.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel bubbles with a feeling that is somewhat a cross between nervousness and regret when Jihoon unlocks the door to his house. He knows he shouldn’t be, and he can’t help but wonder how many people have already been here before him.

 

“Come in,” Jihoon beckons.

 

Daniel forces a smile, and leaves his shoes at the doorstep before following Jihoon inside.

 

“It’s messy,” Jihoon explains sheepishly as he attempts to shift a pile of dry laundry to the side. “But it’s because I washed the sheets yesterday, alright? I’m usually a neat person.”

 

Daniel doesn’t know why, but he smiles. Maybe it’s the mental image of Jihoon washing the sheets and drying them that makes something warm rise up in Daniel’s chest. He helps Jihoon pack the sheets neatly to the side, and watches as Jihoon paces nervously around the house like there’s something on his mind.

 

“I’ll call for the chicken, okay?” Daniel places his arm on Jihoon’s shoulder when the boy rushes past him. Jihoon nods, looking like he’s finally caught his breath. “And don’t- don’t be nervous. It’s just me.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_It’s just me._

 

It calms Jihoon down, and he finally feels like he can breathe.

 

It’s just Daniel, someone who he has learnt he can be vulnerable with in the past few hours. It’s just Daniel, who doesn’t have any other ulterior motive for being here. It’s just Daniel, who’s not going to run away and leave him alone in the morning, right?

 

“Ugh,” Daniel groans when he steps into Jihoon’s room and collapses on his bed immediately. “I’m tired.”

 

“Does it still hurt? I have some ice.” Jihoon asks, peering at the bruise on Daniel’s cheek.

 

It still looks very purple and swollen, though he’s sure the nurses would have brought him to the hospital if it was life-threatening. Right now, Daniel just looks a little more comical than usual.

 

Daniel nods pathetically, “I think you should blow on it.”

 

“It’s not a burn-“ Jihoon starts to roll his eyes, then his heart melts when he sees Daniel’s huge frame taking up his entire bed and relents. “Oh, fine.”

 

Bringing his face closer to Daniel’s, he puckers his lips to blow gently on Daniel’s face. That is, until Daniel tugs him downwards and Jihoon loses his balance, yet he somehow manages to position himself such that he doesn’t fall anywhere near Daniel’s face.

 

He still falls on Daniel’s chest with a loud thump though, and almost sees red when he lifts his head to look up at a very sheepish Daniel.

 

“What are you doing,” Jihoon frowns, trying to get off Daniel, but the other boy just wraps his arms around Jihoon’s waist and stares dreamily at him, making Jihoon a little flustered and hot in the face.

 

“Trying to kiss you,” Daniel confesses, his eyes wide open – big and innocent.

 

“You could have just asked,” Jihoon shoots back, feeling his heart rate increase rather strangely. He’s done this many times, and even once with Daniel but somehow, there’s still something that makes the pit of his stomach stir. He avoids Daniel’s soft smile, knowing how weak his defence system is for that.

 

“You didn’t have to assault me and possibly hurt the both of-“

 

He’s rambling now, trying to use words to cover up his nerves.

 

Jihoon freezes when Daniel brushes his bangs aside with his fingers.

 

“So can I kiss you now?”

 

Jihoon doesn’t think he’s ever been asked. He’s grown accustomed to observe the body language of the other person, and has learnt to give in to whatever the other person wants, even if he doesn’t feel like it.

 

His mentality has always been: Even if it doesn’t feel good now, it will later.

 

That’s why he keeps giving in, he keeps bringing strangers home and giving them what they want, only to lie in bed alone later, and wonder if anyone is ever going to come along and make him feel like they really want him.

 

Jihoon stares at Daniel for a good few seconds, wondering how he’s come to this stage – lying down with the school’s football captain in his bed, and him asking Jihoon for permission to kiss him.

 

“Yes,” Jihoon nods.

 

Daniel smiles, and brings Jihoon’s lips closer to his with his hands behind Jihoon’s back, drawing shapes that Jihoon would come to love and crave for. Daniel is so gentle with him, Jihoon’s heart almost jumps out of his mouth when Daniel takes it slow and steady, making the most of every second in their heated moment.

 

It’s strange when Daniel doesn’t make any moves except to keep kissing Jihoon.

 

_He should do something by now. Why isn’t he doing anything? Is he waiting for Jihoon to make the first move?_

 

A million thoughts run through Jihoon’s head, and he’s headed to a dark place even before he can stop himself. He starts to doubt Daniel, that maybe the other boy wanted to kiss him just for…

 

_It can’t be, right?_

 

Jihoon knows he feels differently for Daniel, he’s known ever since he’d seen the tears stream down Daniel’s cheeks in detention; he knows that this is a boy that is unlike the rest. It is then he decides that it doesn’t matter – he wants to make Daniel feel good, even at his own expense.

 

Jihoon runs his fingers under Daniel’s shirt, and shuts his eyes tight because he feels like he’s going to cry anytime, and he doesn’t even know why. Daniel responds well to his touch, and Jihoon’s heart drops. This is not how he’d wanted his night to go with Daniel; but because he’s already so, so, in love with Daniel he’d wished the other boy would be a little different from the rest.

 

 _For you_ , Jihoon thinks. _I would give it all._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kissing Jihoon once was a miracle – kissing him a second time is a dream.

 

Jihoon knows his ways around this whole kissing thing, and Daniel can tell. Because he’s kissing Daniel in all the right ways that make his face heat up and want more.

 

He shivers when Jihoon slides his hand under his shirt. Daniel doesn’t think much of it then, too focused on the idea of Jihoon’s lips on his.

 

Daniel knows something is wrong when Jihoon’s hand trails further down, until heat pools at an unfamiliar spot, and he jerks away.

 

Jihoon looks like he’s in a trance, chasing after Daniel’s lips like it’s the only thing he knows how to do.

 

“Jihoon,” Daniel pants. “Jihoon.”

 

Jihoon’s eyes flutter open, “What?”

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“I- You. I thought you wanted-“ Jihoon’s eyes widen in realisation and panic. “You don’t… want this?”

 

Daniel’s heart sinks. Tears spring into his eyes when he realises what Jihoon was prepared to do for him. Quickly, Daniel pulls Jihoon closer to him, wrapping him in a warm hug and drowns his face in a shower of soft kisses.

 

“I want you,” Daniel explains. “I like you a lot, Jihoon.”

 

“Then?” Jihoon’s voice cracks. “Why don’t you want it?”

 

“No,” Daniel shakes his head. “I mean, yes. I want this, but I’m not ready yet. And I don’t think you are too.”

 

“But-“

 

“I’m not with you for this,” Daniel says very seriously. “I said it before, but everything that comes along with Park Jihoon, I want to experience it. Your mood swings, your smiles, your cute cheeks, your tears, I want to be every part of your life, not just _this_. Okay?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon tucks his knees together. “I ruined the mood.”

 

“No, you didn’t,” Daniel rubs Jihoon’s arms in an attempt to console the other boy.

 

Somehow, he feels like he’s losing Jihoon to a very dark place. He’s seen how Jihoon can close off himself to the entire world, including Daniel, and he does not want Jihoon to surround himself with all that negative energy just because of a small misunderstanding between them.

 

“Can we start over?” Daniel asks, never taking his hand away from the other boy's arm.

 

After what seems like an eternity, Jihoon nods.

 

The doorbell rings just then, and Daniel springs up from the bed. He pays for the chicken and whisks the food away to Jihoon’s room. Jihoon is putting his hoodie back on, and smiles wide when Daniel holds up the chicken in his hands.

 

“Chicken?”

 

Daniel realises that starting on this new chapter in life with Jihoon is not going to be smooth-sailing. They are both teenagers who are still making mistakes, and trying their best to learn from them. Daniel knows that the worst is yet to come on Monday, but with Jihoon by his side,

 

He will make it work.

 

He will make _them_ work.


	2. Chin Up, Buttercup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pretty angsty chapter - but i extended the chapters to three parts so the next one will be happier!!
> 
> i'm so emotionally attached to all the characters in this story,,, i hope you enjoy reading!!

One thing Daniel discovers about dating _(are they dating?)_ a boy is that it is not much different from dating a girl. Don’t ask him what he expected – but it definitely wasn’t this. This being squished against Jihoon on his bed, paying more attention to the nice folds above Jihoon’s eyes instead of the film playing on Daniel’s phone.

 

This being, focusing more on the way Jihoon’s chest rises and then falls in tune to his breathing and the way his hair falls nicely on his forehead, and the way his cheeks are blushed in the lightest of pinks – like a cotton candy.

 

Something about the movie makes Jihoon laugh, and Daniel begins to etch into the back of his mind how beautiful the boy looks when he’s happy. Slowly, one by one, Daniel manages to carve the image of Park Jihoon right now into his mind.

 

He prays he never forgets it.

 

“Are you tired?” Jihoon asks suddenly, throwing Daniel completely off guard.

 

“Why?” Daniel blinks back at the boy who is finally giving him the attention instead of the movie since it started. “Are you sleepy?”

 

“No,” Jihoon shrugs, eyes fluttering down again. “It’s just that… you haven’t been watching the movie.”

 

“Oh,” Daniel replies. How is he supposed to tell Jihoon that the reason he hasn’t been focusing on the movie he recommended is Park Jihoon himself? Daniel just gulps nervously. “It’s nothing. I’ve watched this movie a few times already, how do you like it?”

 

Jihoon seems to like his answer, because a smile ghosts his lips before he presses play on the phone again.

 

“It’s funny. I like it a lot.”

 

“Great,” Daniel sounds out, making it a point to stop staring so obviously at Jihoon. _That was almost embarrassing_ , he thinks.

 

This is nice, the two of them being alone and being completely at ease with each other’s company. But whenever Daniel stops and his mind just happens to wander to what is going to happen on Monday, he feels the bile in his throat rise up and his mind go blank.

 

What are his friends going to say? More importantly, what is _he_ going to say?

 

Daniel does not want to be a hypocrite, but he also wants to be completely honest with himself; he is nowhere near having the courage to treat Jihoon in public the same way he treats him when they are alone. And it terrifies him to think about how people will think of him.

 

When Jihoon continues to sink further into the bed and lean his head into Daniel’s chest, Daniel prays hard that Jihoon won’t be able to hear his thumping heart; and it’s not just from the feelings he has for Jihoon.

 

Daniel sighs, and pushes the thoughts to the back of his mind.

 

 _Later_ , he tells himself.

 

Right now, he rests his chin on the crown of Jihoon’s head. And for a long time in a while, he feels safe.

 

 

 

 

 

It is late when Jihoon decides that Daniel shouldn’t be staying with him. Even though the other boy has assured him many times that he does not have a curfew (perks of being the golden boy in your family) and that he isn’t tired at all, Jihoon doesn’t think it’s right to keep Daniel next to him for this long.

 

Especially not when he hasn’t figured out what exactly they are yet.

 

“Go home,” Jihoon says when he finally manages to roll Daniel out of his bed. Daniel is like a big puppy who doesn’t want to move and that makes it harder for Jihoon to separate with him, even if it’s just for a short while.

 

He’s never been one to do the chasing.

 

But Daniel is a little different.

 

“But I want to spend more time with _youuuu_ ,” Daniel whines. “Let’s watch another movie.”

 

“You weren’t even watching the movie,” Jihoon playfully knocks the side of Daniel’s forehead. “You’ve had a really long day, I don’t want you tiring yourself out. We can meet tomorrow… if you want to.”

 

Daniel pouts, and Jihoon’s heart skips two beats. Just earlier today, he would have never guessed he would have this side to him.

 

“I have training tomorrow,” Daniel grumbles, gathering his stuff. “I would skip- but like, responsibilities. And my coach is not happy at me for landing detention on such an important match day. If I hadn’t scored that goal today I’m positive he would march up to my parents and demand for me to get kicked off the team.”

 

“You’re so dramatic,” Jihoon coos, pinching Daniel’s cheek. “Now go home and rest before your training tomorrow, Captain. I’ll see you in school on Monday.”

 

Finally, Daniel gets on his feet. It’s completely pitch dark outside when Jihoon shows Daniel out, and he feels a little guilty for holding onto Daniel for so long – maybe his parents are really worried about him staying out too late.

 

“I’ll get going,” Daniel smiles. “Go to sleep, okay?”

 

“Back at you, Kang Daniel,” Jihoon waves goodbye. “Rest well.”

 

“And see you… Monday,” Daniel pauses.

 

“Okay,” Jihoon nods.

 

He watches as Daniel walks out into the night. He watches until he can’t see Daniel anymore; and for a moment, Jihoon is terrified. What if Daniel keeps walking into the darkness, and never comes back?

 

 

 

 

 

“You can walk me to the end of this road,” Minhyun says, hands in his pockets while their shoulders bump against each other. It’s already late and he is going to get chewed out so bad but there is something that is keeping Minhyun from running home.

 

Seongwoo hums, not pressing Minhyun for an explanation why he can’t walk Minhyun to his front door. He thinks Seongwoo understands that things are complicated where Minhyun is concerned, and this is not the right time to try and resolve them.

 

“What do you have on tomorrow?” Seongwoo asks. “Let’s grab lunch.”

 

“I’m positive I’m going to be grounded as soon as I step back into my house,” Minhyun sighs, wishing more than anything that he could buy Ong Seongwoo some lunch after he has given up so much for him tonight. “Plus, I have piano lessons on Sundays.”

 

“Tell your parents you don’t want to play the piano,” Seongwoo says, lacing his fingers with Minhyun’s. “Or the violin. Or whatever fucked up instrument they want you to learn.”

 

Minhyun chuckles bitterly.

 

“Nothing is that easy, Seongwoo,” Minhyun chides. “You think too highly of me. What makes you think I’m as strong as you? I’m me – I accept whatever comes my way.”

 

After a short pause, Minhyun continues.

 

“I don’t think I have enough strength left to fight back anymore.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Let’s stop here.”

 

Seongwoo doesn’t know why – when Minhyun is only talking about them parting for tonight, but he is positive his heart stops for just a moment. Minhyun lets go first, and an icy chill replaces the warmth that Minhyun once gave him.

 

“I want to see you on Monday.”

 

Minhyun stops in his steps.

 

“Monday,” Seongwoo repeats. “I will see you in school. Don’t forget.”

 

For a long time, Minhyun is expressionless. Then, he smiles.

 

“Alright, Ong Seongwoo. I’ll see you on Monday in school.”

 

Seongwoo would love to pull Minhyun back into his arms and tell him that everything will be fine; but somehow it doesn’t seem like he has the power to do anything right now. So Seongwoo just waits for Minhyun to enter his house and finally, he goes on his way as well.

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyun plays until his fingers memorize exactly where he should press on the keyboard to hit the note that his teacher wants, but he doesn’t hear the song at all. There is nothing, except for the progression of notes. But Minhyun feels nothing.

 

“Stop,” his teacher says, and he finally slumps back, exhausted. “You’re playing the piano like it’s a chore, not like it’s a song. What’s wrong with you today?”

 

“Nothing,” Minhyun shrugs. “I’m tired.”

 

“Good, because we’re ending here for today,” his teacher snaps, gathering his things in a rush and stops by the door. “Get your act together before the showcase at the end of this month, or there will be a price to pay.”

 

Minhyun waits until the front door is slammed shut for his mother to come running into the room.

 

“What happened? Why was Mr Lee angry?” Minhyun’s mother asks. “Did you do something?”

 

“I did nothing,” Minhyun closes his eyes in frustration as he stares back at the black and white keys of his piano. None of this makes sense, nothing about playing the piano makes sense. It has never made sense, ever since the day he started taking lessons. “Mr Lee is just too sensitive.”

 

“Stop it,” his mother warns. “Ever since you’ve skipped class that day, you’ve been acting up. Just yesterday you didn’t return for dinner even though I told you your father would be coming back. Where were you?”

 

“Nowhere,” Minhyun replies curtly. “I want to sleep.”

 

“A nap,” his mother corrects him. “Take a half an hour nap then get back to practicing. We need to get the piece right for the showcase, only then you can get into a university early.”

 

Minhyun shuts her out and lies down back on his bed. He can feel a migraine coming up soon, and reminds himself to get the painkillers if he doesn’t feel better after a nap.

 

The showcase – the only reason his mother has been making him take extra lessons on the weekends, as if the weekdays are not enough.

 

Minhyun closes his eyes, and he can almost feel Seongwoo next to him. _Ong Seongwoo_ , he thinks. What exactly has the other man done to him, for Minhyun to keep thinking about him non-stop?

 

_If Seongwoo were here, what would he do?_

 

Minhyun thinks he would ask for permission to touch him, and then Minhyun would say yes, because how can he ever say no to Ong Seongwoo? Minhyun thinks Seongwoo would hold him tightly in his arms, but takes note to be careful at the same time, as if he were holding something fragile and precious.

 

(Minhyun doesn’t understand.)

 

He falls asleep soon after.

 

 

 

 

 

Sungwoon taps his pencil impatiently on the table. He chews on his bottom lip, willing himself to start focusing on the math problems in front of him instead of thinking of ways to escape. He glances at the door – which is his first option; but then he hears the car pull into the front porch and his heart sinks.

 

He looks at the window, and gulps nervously.

 

He could pull it off, he’s seen it done many times in movies and his friends have told him countless stories of them sneaking out in the middle of the night. Sungwoon thinks he’s smart enough to work it out.

 

_But then what?_

 

Would he call Taehyun, and ask him to come down to meet him on a Sunday night? He’s not even sure how he’s going to reach Taehyun, as he just remembers his phone has been confiscated by his parents.

 

He’s a full-grown teenager, for God’s sake.

 

Maybe it has something to do with his father still fuming about him going out with Taehyun yesterday. It is obvious, from the way everyone in his family is ignoring him and treating him like some sort of outcast, just because he wants to hold Taehyun’s hand.

 

And maybe, the escaping part isn’t just about wanting to see Taehyun again. Sungwoon hasn’t figured that out – how he’s going to approach and talk to Taehyun, or whether the other boy even wants to see him again after being humiliated by Sungwoon’s father.

 

It’s more about feeling so caged up in this room, in his _own fucking house_.

 

This is supposed to be his safe space, so why does Sungwoon feel like wants a one-way ticket out of this place right now?

 

 

 

 

 

Today feels different. Daniel wants to run out of this place immediately and into a hole somewhere out there. There’s nothing comforting about students coming up to him and congratulating him on their team’s win over the weekend.

 

He’d packed his bags way too fast last night after training, and ignored his teammates invitations to grab dinner together.

 

_What changed over the weekend?_

 

“Hey, hyung,” Woojin smiles when Daniel opens his locker. “Are you okay?”

 

“Me?” Daniel glances around, suddenly very wary about anyone who looks his way. He gathers the books he needs for the day and looks around for the fastest exit out of here. “Yeah, I’m fine. Great, actually. Why’d you ask?”

 

Woojin purses his lips together, “Look, I just wanted to make sure things between the both of us are fine. Like, I know you were with Ji- Jihoon over the weekend and he must have told you about that one time we hooked up.”

 

“Yeah,” Daniel sighs, slamming his locket shut. “He told me.”

 

Woojin nods slowly, “And… I want you to know-“

 

“I don’t really want to talk about it right now, Woojin,” Daniel confesses, much to the shock of his friend. “I’m sorry, I’m just not ready to rationally talk about how Jihoon has hooked up with half the school.”

 

Daniel knows it’s not true. Jihoon has not hooked up with half the school. _Why is he talking about Jihoon like this anyway?_

 

“Hyung-“

 

It’s so, so, stupid, for Daniel to be filled with this much rage when it comes to Jihoon.

 

“I’m actually holding myself back right now,” Daniel points out. “Like, really bad. I’m telling myself that things aren’t as complicated as they seem but _fuck_ , I am so angry and scared right now, Woojin. So please, if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say it.”

 

Daniel locks up, and stomps away, only to be stopped by a bunch of his friends from homeroom.

 

He swallows, they must have heard about him and Jihoon from the rest of the school who’d been there at the game on the weekend.

 

“Daniel!” they greet him cheerfully, but Daniel feels nothing. He forces a smile, “Hey, guys.”

 

“Is it true?” they nudge him. “You.... and that boy that everyone talks about. You really took him home after the game?”

 

“I didn’t take him home, he did,” Daniel mumbles, feeling uncomfortable as they begin to whistle obnoxiously. “Nothing happened.”

 

“So, what? You’re into guys now?”

 

Daniel knows they’re teasing, they have to be. Somehow, their jokes feel like sarcastic jabs meant to make Daniel crack under pressure and suddenly an urge to defend himself rises. It’s more of fear than anger, when he says, “Don’t talk about crap like that.”

 

“Daniel.”

 

His heart sinks, he knows that voice. It’s the very one he has carved into the back of his mind.

 

 

 

 

 

“Daniel,” Jihoon says. The other boy pauses, then glances at Jihoon. All his friends whistle and hoot ignorantly, making Jihoon see red. It’s repulsive, to see others treat their relationship as a joke.

 

_But then again, what relationship?_

 

Jihoon asks himself this very question as he watches Daniel break down, piece by piece. It’s almost as if Jihoon can hear Daniel evaluating every possible situation in his mind, from humouring his friends to acknowledging Jihoon’s presence.

 

Jihoon just waits, and hopes that Daniel is worth waiting for.

 

“Jihoon, can we take this somewhere else? Just not here.”

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon starts a fight he doesn’t know how to stop. He should have known, that Daniel wasn’t him, he shouldn’t have had any expectations, that the Daniel in school would be the same Daniel he had cuddled up next to in his bed.

 

“So, what?” Jihoon stares Daniel down after Daniel carefully locks the door behind them. He thinks they’re in the music room, where all the instruments are kept. “You said we’d see each other Monday, but I didn’t realise it would be in the dark.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Daniel mumbles weakly. “People were talking about us.”

 

“Am I something you want to hide, Kang Daniel?” Jihoon asks, willing his tears not to fall, especially not now. “Am I someone that you are embarrassed of? Because it sure as hell seemed that way earlier on.”

 

“Don’t say that,” Daniel says in a lower voice. “You know that’s not true.”

 

“I wouldn’t know that,” Jihoon says.

 

He takes in a deep breath, “You too?”

 

Daniel finally looks up.

 

“What?”

 

“You’re experimenting too?” Jihoon asks. “With me?”

 

“Park Jihoon!” Daniel yells, and for the first time when he’s with Daniel, Jihoon feels scared. He flinches, then recovers and picks up his backpack, and walks over to the door, ready to get the hell out of here.

 

“Jihoon,” Daniel says slowly. “I need a break.”

 

Jihoon doesn’t even look back at Daniel when he says, “You won’t need it. We didn’t start anything anyway.”

 

Maybe this is how it feels like – to like someone so much it physically hurts you to walk away from him, even though you know he needs you the most right now. But how can Jihoon be sure Daniel is the one for him? It hurts a lot more than the other times; maybe because this time it finally seemed like the feelings between them were real.

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey, Minhyun hyung!” a junior bounds up to Minhyun as soon as he walks through the front gates to school. “I bought tickets to your showcase at the end of this month! I can’t wait to see you perform.”

 

Minhyun forces a smile. Great. Now everyone knows he’s going to be performing. It’s going to be so much harder to tell his mother that he wants to quit.

 

Nevertheless, he ruffles the boy’s hair with adoration. Jinyoung looks up to him so much, Minhyun can’t bear to break the other boy’s dreams by telling him how much hate he has for the piano.

 

“Thank you, Jinyoung,” Minhyun says. “I can’t wait to see you there.”

 

“I’ll be there with all my friends!” Jinyoung yells as he runs back to his friend group, waving Minhyun goodbye.

 

Minhyun takes a deep breath after Jinyoung is gone, going to his locker.

 

What lessons does he have today? Math, Chemistry, Language blah, blah, blah. Repeat the same schedule for five days straight and then non-stop practice on the weekends. Minhyun really wishes he could skip just one more day of school.

 

He still remembers the river waters rushing under his feet, and how it drowned out every single other sound and worry in Minhyun’s world.

 

Minhyun opens his locker, and spots the bright yellow post it right on top of all his textbooks.

 

**_Chin up, buttercup!_ **

 

Beside it is a cute flower. The note is anonymous, but Minhyun make have an inkling as to who might have dropped the note in here.

 

“Hey, _Buttercup_.”

 

“Cheesy, much?” Minhyun finds himself grinning as he slams his locker shut, and there stands Ong Seongwoo, with his signature smug look. “What’s this all about?”

 

“You don’t find it cute?” Seongwoo pouts. “I pondered all over the weekend about how I should treat my first ever boyfriend.”

 

It is a lie to say Minhyun’s heart doesn’t skip two beats hearing those words come out of Seongwoo’s lips. It’s magical, to think that he has been the one Seongwoo has chosen.

 

“You thought all weekend,” Minhyun shakes his head as Seongwoo continues to walk beside him down the hallway to his class. “And this is what you came up with?”

 

“Give me your books,” Seongwoo jumps into action, offering to hold the books and files in Minhyun’s hands for him.

 

“Where are yours?” Minhyun wonders aloud.

 

Seongwoo just shrugs, “You don’t have to worry about that, Buttercup.”

 

Minhyun just wrinkles his nose, “Ew, please don’t keep calling me that.”

 

“Of course not, I’ll have a different pet name for you tomorrow. Any ideas, Buttercup?”

 

Minhyun laughs, and he just feels so great. It hasn’t even been two minutes, but Seongwoo makes him feel so much better already. That’s when Minhyun decides that he can pull through another five days of school, if he gets to see Seongwoo every day, and receive cute post its from his even cuter boyfriend.

 

“Hey,” Seongwoo lowers his voice once they get to Minhyun’s classroom. “Thank you for coming to school today.”

 

Minhyun just smiles, “What makes you think I wouldn’t?”

 

“Nothing,” Seongwoo just shrugs. “Can we meet after school? At the back alley, behind the basketball court?”

 

“Shady,” Minhyun chides. “But sure, see you later.”

 

Seongwoo lets his thumb ghost over Minhyun’s cheek, then decides to stop for his and Minhyun’s sake. He nudges Minhyun into his classroom, waits for him to settle down in his chair before he leaves for his own classes.

 

 

 

 

 

Sungwoon doesn’t know why he thought today would be any different. Nothing’s changed, everything is still the same. Everyone is still treating him the same – invisible.

 

Unconsciously, Sungwoon tiptoes to look for a boy who is supposedly as tall as he is, but he is nowhere in sight, so Sungwoon just goes to his locker.

 

_“Nothing is going to happen. We’re going to pretend like we don’t know each other, like we don’t exist. You’re probably not brave enough to say anything to them anyway.”_

 

Maybe Seongwoo was right, because Sungwoon catches a glimpse of Daniel with his friends but with Jihoon nowhere in sight, when Sungwoon could swear Daniel and Jihoon were hitting it off on Saturday.

 

Some things never change. Sungwoon has just been a fool to challenge that belief.

 

 

 

 

 

It comes like a hurricane, except there is no warning.

 

It starts from the small things, like all his classmates congratulating him on landing himself a place in the piano showcase at the end of the month. And then it transcends into something so much bigger.

 

“Minhyun, can you solve question 10 on the board for us?”

 

And for the life of him, Minhyun suddenly doesn’t understand a thing on the board. He knows he’d revised this last night, his mother had drilled it into him to bury his head into the books last night.

 

“Minhyun? At least write the first step down.”

 

He knows his teacher is losing her patience. The first step should be a no brainer, because all his classmates are giggling behind his back.

 

But he can’t. he can’t recall anything. He knows it, but he just can’t remember. And then fear starts to set in – what happens if this occurs during his exams? Or worse, during the showcase?

 

“Okay, Minhyun. Just go back to your seat and revise more at home. Anyone else wants to solve this for Minhyun instead?”

 

Minhyun trudges back to his seat. Then his headache comes, and he remembers the painkillers he’d left at home. And he’s not even halfway through the school day. He just puts his head down on the table, and wills for all the pain to go away.

 

Just five more hours, and then he can see Seongwoo again, and all will be okay.

 

Just then, Minhyun remembers how he’d felt when Seongwoo had given him that drug back in the library. His entire body felt as light as a feather, and all the pain in his world had been lifted. Before he knows it, Minhyun is craving.

 

_He needs it now._

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel doesn’t concentrate in class for the rest of the day. He’s been too busy repaying the scene back in the music room, and figuring out exactly where they went wrong.

 

_“You won’t need it. We didn’t start anything anyway.”_

 

It hurts. _Why does it hurt so much?_

Daniel should never have let Jihoon walked out of that music room angry. He should have held Jihoon back, tell him to stay and listen to what Daniel has to say for himself and for them – their relationship.

 

Was it so easy to give up? Daniel thinks. Jihoon walked out of the room like Daniel didn’t matter to him. He should have chosen his words carefully, thought about how Jihoon would feel.

 

Daniel is the problem. He’s not brave enough for Jihoon.

 

“Daniel?” someone taps on his shoulder. “Do you want to have lunch?”

 

Daniel shakes his head, burying his head into the table.

 

 

 

 

 

He even attempts to apologize to Jihoon during P.E. It turns out that their classes both take place at the same time at the sports hall every Monday. The boy sits out of class at the bleaches while avoiding Daniel’s eye.

 

His teacher asks Jihoon to play otherwise he’ll be marked absent, and the boy grumbles, but he gets up and joins his class.

 

Daniel’s eye never leaves Jihoon during the entire session, where his class is supposed to be training for their annual physical test.

 

Daniel sees the ball flying towards Jihoon before it hits him.

 

He shouts, but it’s too late.

 

Daniel’s instincts kick in and rushes to Jihoon’s side immediately, even before Jihoon’s own teacher gets to him.

 

“Daniel?”

 

“Are you okay?” Daniel lifts Jihoon’s head up slowly. “Hurt anywhere? Jesus, people are too rough these days.”

 

And then Daniel realises that everyone’s eyes are on him and Jihoon. Heat immediately rushes to his face and Daniel ducks his head down. Maybe it wasn’t him in control when he’d run to Jihoon’s aid, but now that he is 100% control about where he is and what he is doing, something inside him churns.

 

Jihoon seems to have detected Daniel’s sudden change in attitude as well because he picks himself up from the ground.

 

“Wait- Jihoon,” Daniel rushes after the boy.

 

“Forget it, Daniel,” Jihoon snaps. “This is better. You don’t have to pretend anymore. Just let go of me.”

 

Jihoon storms off, ignoring the shouts from his teacher.

 

Daniel clenches his fists and returns to his own class, where people are still giving him strange looks.

 

_I can’t. I can’t let you go._

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo didn’t know how much Minhyun could change in the span of eight hours, but he definitely wasn’t expecting Minhyun to show up, his tie loose and hair sweaty, looking anything but the Hwang Minhyun he had walked to class earlier.

 

“Seongwoo!” he shouts from the other end.

 

Only he doesn’t sound happy to see Seongwoo, he sounds distressed.

 

He practically collapses into Seongwoo’s arms, his uniform soaked in sweat.

 

“Jesus, Minhyun. What happened?” Seongwoo tries to help him stand straight, but to no avail. In the end, he settles for sitting Minhyun down on the ground. “Minhyunnie? Talk to me, what happened to you?”

 

“Nothing,” Minhyun mumbles. “I need _that_.”

 

He points to the joint in Seongwoo’s hand, and Seongwoo crushes it immediately with his foot.

 

“I need it, Seongwoo,” Minhyun croaks out. “Please. Just a bit.”

 

“What, Minhyun?” Seongwoo tips his chin up to check if anything is wrong. “Use your words and tell me what you need. I’ll help you.”

 

“The drugs, Seongwoo,” Minhyun whispers harshly.

 

For a moment, Seongwoo thinks he has heard him wrongly. _The Hwang Minhyun asking him for drugs?_

 

“No,” Seongwoo decides.

 

“What, why?” Minhyun whines, trashing in Seongwoo’s grip. Seongwoo places his hand over Minhyun’s forehead and it’s exactly as he expected – he feels feverish.

 

“I am your boyfriend,” Seongwoo says through clenched teeth as he props Minhyun up again. “Not your fucking drug dealer. Come on, we’re going to the hospital. Can you walk?”

 

“Then why’d you give it to me?” Minhyun says, suddenly looking serious. “If you were going to take it away in the end?”

 

Seongwoo has a feeling Minhyun isn’t just talking about weed.

 

Seongwoo hails a cab, and barely gets both of them into the car. By the time Minhyun is in the cab, he is still breaking out in cold sweat, unconscious again in Seongwoo’s embrace. He urges the cab driver to go faster, and he does try. The only thing that is eating Seongwoo up from inside – if only he had never given Minhyun a dose, if only he had arranged to meet Minhyun during lunch, he would have seen the symptoms, if only he had been there for Minhyun earlier.

 

Seongwoo pulls Minhyun closer to him, and tries to keep him as warm as possible.

 

 

 

 

_Fuck Venn Diagrams._

 

Sungwoon’s lips form into a natural pout as he moves onto the seventh question for today. This is the problem with math assessment books; the questions get harder and harder as you progress. It’s damaging to all the hopes of the students out there.

 

Why give them hope with the easy questions at the front and then crush it with the impossible questions later on? It just doesn’t make sense to Sungwoon – just like the Venn Diagrams.

 

“Can I sit here?”

 

Sungwoon freezes, and momentarily asks himself if he is dreaming.

 

“Uh, hi.”

 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Taehyun smiles, slipping into the seat opposite Sungwoon. He unloads all his textbooks and writing materials onto the table.

 

He’s even wearing glasses today, Sungwoon thinks. _Cute_.

 

“It’s a public library,” Sungwoon shrugs, going back to his work although it is evident he can no longer concentrate. “You didn’t need to ask for my permission.”

 

“I wanted to,” Taehyun replies. “I’ve been looking for you in school the whole day. Where did you disappear to?”

 

“Nowhere,” Sungwoon says, writing down useless calculations on his book. “I’ve been in school, people just don’t see me. People don’t see me. I’m always here, but never seen.”

 

Taehyun purses his lips together.

 

“Sungwoon. Can we talk?”

 

“This is a library,” Sungwoon says. “I don’t think that’s allowed.”

 

“Then I’ll say it before the librarian comes over. I’ll make it short even.”

 

Sungwoon’s breath is yet again stolen by the same boy when the next words are spoken.

 

“I like you. Let’s work something out, okay?”

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo runs. He doesn’t think he deserves to stay. One look at Minhyun in the hospital bed and Seongwoo feels like throwing up.

 

_He feels terrible._

 

Extreme stress and migraines – painful enough to cause Minhyun to faint.

 

“Didn’t you see the symptoms?” the doctor questions.

 

And he is right, Seongwoo should have picked up on it long ago. He’d just brushed it off, said it wasn’t his place to intrude in Minhyun’s business. All Seongwoo wanted to do for Minhyun was help, but he’d actually made it so much worse.

 

By supplying Minhyun the drugs that day, he’d introduced a substance like never before into Minhyun’s body. Of course Minhyun, as physically and mentally weak as he’d already was, would feed into that.

_This is all his fault._

 

“I’m sorry,” Seongwoo says for the umpteenth time, brushing Minhyun’s hair out of his face.

 

Somehow, he feels like it will never be enough.

 

He gets up, it’s time for him to go. It doesn’t feel right for him to stay here when his parents arrive; he knows because he’d asked the doctor to give them a call earlier.

 

Maybe its him being a coward, but Seongwoo has no guts to face either parent knowing what he has done for Minhyun.

 

Or more like; what he _hasn’t_ done.

 

Seongwoo gently kisses Minhyun’s forehead and steals one last glance at him before closing the hospital doors behind him.

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon turns off his handphone – it’s exploding with messages.

 

Just not from the person he wants to see the most right now.

 

For a moment, he considers going back to his old ways; forget Kang Daniel ever walked into his life and keep living the way he has been. He gets numerous offers from people in school after news of him being sighted with Daniel at the match last weekend had spread.

 

Apparently, their falling out has been the talk of the school as well.

 

Jihoon knows it is not fair to Daniel for him to even consider having someone else over – but as he’d said to Daniel: were they even anything before?

 

Jihoon doesn’t know which one he’d rather they be.

 

Everything – but so easily broken, or nothing at all?

 

The worst thing is Jihoon understands the dilemma Daniel is going through. It’s not easy, to have always been everyone’s golden boy, role model and dream boy and then become nothing just because he figures out something new about himself.

 

_But for once, why can’t someone stay?_

 

Jihoon knows it is stupid, but maybe he is stupid. He just can’t look past his own problems to see what others are going through as well.

 

 

 

 

 

“You don’t mean that,” Sungwoon finally says. “You barely know me.”

 

“And you know me?” Taehyun challenges playfully while opening his textbook like nothing is wrong. Like he didn’t just shock Sungwoon into a trance by confessing to him in the library. “You know as much about me as I know about you. Yet you like me, so why can’t I feel the same way?”

 

“I don’t-“ Sungwoon half chokes on his words. “L-Like you.”

 

“Oh, really,” Taehyun replies with a bored expression.

 

“I mean, I like you a lot,” Sungwoon panics.

 

“Good,” Taehyun nods. “It’s settled, right? We’re dating from today onwards.”

 

_My God – does he even know the effect his words have on Sungwoon?_

 

“My Dad,” Sungwoon finally chokes out. “He’s going to kill you, and then me.”

 

“So like, modern day Romeo and Juliet?” Taehyun grins.

 

“That’s not how Romeo and Juliet-“ Sungwoon begins, then realises from the cheeky grin spread across Taehyun’s face that he’s just messing with Sungwoon. He cracks the first smile of his day, “You’re impossible, Noh Taehyun.”

 

“Please,” Taehyun places his hands over Sungwoon’s. And for the first time in Sungwoon’s life, he’s pleased to know that the other has larger hands than his. (Not by a long mile, just a little. But it still counts and it is cute.)

 

“Let’s work something out together?”

 

“Okay,” Sungwoon is agreeing before he can even assess the consequences of his decision.

 

Taehyun laughs, and Sungwoon loves the way he laughs. His laugh is contagious, and pretty soon, Sungwoon is laughing as well. (He is famous among his small friend group for his maniac laughter but is beyond pleased to know that Taehyun does not mind one bit.)

 

The librarian shushes them soon after.

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel decides that the best thing he can do now for Jihoon is to give him space. He himself needs some space to think through this as well.

 

Perhaps they have rushed into things too quickly. Daniel doesn’t know much about Jihoon, and Jihoon surely knows nothing about him. They haven’t even had time to get to know each other, yet have shared as many kisses as Daniel has had in his entire lifetime.

 

“You’re here, too?” Daniel spots a familiar figure at the back alley.

 

“It’s the losers corner,” Seongwoo rolls his eyes. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

 

“I sure as hell feel like one,” Daniel sighs, looking at the stick in Seongwoo’s hand. “Can I have one?”

 

“No,” Seongwoo decides. “Last time I made that decision he landed in the hospital, so no.”

 

Daniel wouldn’t have known Seongwoo was talking about Minhyun if his voice didn’t crack slightly while saying that.

 

He lowers his voice, “Minhyun hyung is in the hospital?”

 

Seongwoo just chuckles and shakes his head, “Some _friend_ you are, not knowing your _friend_ has been rushed to the hospital.”

 

Daniel just keeps quiet, absorbing the information. Somehow it feels like Saturday all over again, Seongwoo lecturing him about everything in the world except the mistakes he himself has made.

 

“What happened?” Daniel asks, knowing this is not the right time to start a fight.

 

(As much as he’d love to snap back at Seongwoo’s smug face right now.)

 

“Extreme stress,” Seongwoo shrugs. “Migraines. A lot of pain. How the _fuck_ could I have not seen any of that?”

 

Or maybe Daniel is wrong about Seongwoo not blaming himself.

 

“It’s not your fault,” Daniel says in a small voice.

 

“Oh, but it is,” Seongwoo smiles. “I gave him the drug. I gave him that illusion that everything would be alright with some white shit. I made him worse.”

 

The drugs – weed. They had lighted it up in the school’s library.

 

“We all took it,” Daniel responds meekly. “There’s no way you could have known-“

 

“ _I should have!_ ” Seongwoo yells, throwing his joint on the ground. “I should have fucking known, then maybe he wouldn’t be lying down in the hospital bed right now.”

 

As if his legs have lost all energy, Seongwoo crouches to the ground.

 

Daniel doesn’t think he has ever seen Seongwoo look this weak, this vulnerable, in his entire three days of knowing him. The other boy just looks broken at the thought of hurting his loved one.

 

“Don’t bother comforting me,” Seongwoo grumbles. “You have your own problems to take care of.”

 

Daniel’s heart sinks as he remembers – Jihoon.

 

“What the hell man,” Seongwoo sighs. “You hurt Jihoon, even after he’s been hurt many times over.”

 

Daniel feels like a spear has been driven through his chest.

 

“I’m scared,” he doesn’t know why he’s saying anything to Ong Seongwoo, but again, Seongwoo has this power that makes you feel like you should pour out everything you want to talk about to him. “Of how people will see me. Jihoon is different, he doesn’t have to care. He doesn’t have this image he has to keep up with. But I’m- I’m just-“

 

“Shaped by other’s opinions of you?” Seongwoo helps him out. “You’re a product of their views, Daniel. Everything they think of you is fake. And what is Jihoon?”

 

Daniel is at a loss for words.

 

“Just a _whore_?”

 

“No,” Daniel says angrily. He hates that word so much, especially when used on someone he knows is anything but that. “Fuck, no. He’s anything but that. He’s- he’s amazing. He’s selfless in the love he gives out to people without expecting any back in return.”

 

Before he knows it, tears are spilling out of his eyes, “He’s home. He’s my safe place.”

 

“Are you going to side with him?” Seongwoo asks. “Or the people who know nothing about who you really are?”

 

And Daniel has his answer.

 

“You’re good,” Daniel says after a long silence between both of them.

 

“At everything except solving my own problems,” Seongwoo chucks the whole packet of cigarettes in the bin before starting to walk away.

 

 

 

 

 

“You’re going to apologize to him, right?” Seongwoo asks.

 

Daniel lifts his head, smiling crookedly.

 

Seongwoo feels sympathy for him – Kang Daniel is pure, he is still a child at heart. He does not deserve to have to make such complicated decisions at such a young age. But he has to do what he has to do. Often times, people do not get a part in making decisions for their life.

 

“Of course,” Daniel says. “I’m going to ask for a second chance.”

 

“Why?” Seongwoo wonders aloud.

 

“Because he is precious to me,” Daniel replies. “And I cannot lose him.”

 

Seongwoo smiles, and finally takes his leave.

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyun wakes up energized in a long time. He doesn’t know how long he has been sleeping, but it feels like a well-deserved good night’s sleep, and he can’t recall when was the last time he had one of those.

 

He looks around, and recognises the hospital room.

 

Again, he buries his head into the pillow, wondering just how much trouble he has caused to land up here.

 

He glances at his side table, where there are bouquets of flowers of all colours and sizes from various people. News must have spread, probably from his mother and his friends from school.

 

In the middle of the bouquets, lies a single sunflower.

 

Attached to its stalk is a bright yellow post-it.

****

**_I’ll be waiting for you to wake up, Buttercup._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chin up, buttercups!!
> 
> the final chapter will be happier, i promise. 
> 
> as always, thank you so much for always reading whatever i write and pouring out so many compliments and love for me i really don't deserve you all. do leave a comment to tell me what you thought about this chapter <3 i love you alll 
> 
> \- bapaldeul <3


	3. i see you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end.

It is therapeutic, having things in order. Being in a hospital is like being stuck in an endless routine of blood checking, breakfast, taking his medicine, lunch, then another blood check, and finally dinner. With little naps in between, of course.

 

But it is boring. Minhyun wishes something would happen so that he wouldn’t have to stare at the white walls of the ceiling and awkwardly wait in silence when the nurses take his blood. The sunflower on his table is wilting although he had asked for the nurse to put it in a glass of water. Maybe it is because the one who had gifted the sunflower is nowhere to be seen. For the past three days, Minhyun has been waiting for a familiar face to pop into the room. He waits, he even humours his parents who try to cheer him up by saying things like- “it’s going to be okay, Minhyun,” or “we’re here for you.”

 

It is not like he is sick. Minhyun is just sad. It feels like there is a huge rain cloud over his head which is constantly storming and making him grumpy. The feelings of dread and unhappiness eat him up from inside incessantly.

 

His sunshine makes its appearance on the fourth day.

 

“Knock, knock,” he hears his voice even before he steps into the room. Immediately, it’s like the clouds above his head has cleared and the sunrays are finally peeking out, warming his skin.

 

“Who’s there?” Minhyun plays along chicly, although he is practically bursting with excitement at the thought of seeing Ong Seongwoo again.

 

The door slides open, revealing Seongwoo in his school uniform. He wears a sheepish grin on his face, a sign that he is, too, shy to see Minhyun again. Minhyun sits up from his position, ready to welcome Seongwoo with open arms.

 

“I did not think of a response beyond “knock, knock”,” Seongwoo admits, scratching the nape of his neck awkwardly. He stands a distance away from Minhyun, making the other boy frown. Seongwoo is usually all over him – but this time, it seems like he is apprehensive to close to gap between them.

 

“Come here,” Minhyun urges. “I miss you.”

 

Finally, Seongwoo takes two steps closer to Minhyun, and allows for Minhyun to bury his head into his chest. It warms Minhyun’s heart to feel that Seongwoo’s heart still beats synonymous to his. It feels like all his worries have been eased with just a hug.

 

Seongwoo gently caresses the crown of Minhyun’s head, allowing the silence to speak for them. However, it is not long before the other boy’s voice cracks, as he says:

 

“I’m so sorry, Minhyun. I’m so, so, sorry.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Why are you apologising?” Minhyun looks up at Seongwoo, surprised that Seongwoo has completely lost his composure. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

 

“It was my fault,” Seongwoo sniffs. “Everything was my fault. I am a bad decision and I made you make a bad decision. I should have known that you were hurting inside. Instead, I was so caught up with my own problems I decided yours weren’t as important as mine.”

 

His fingers curl into fists against Minhyun’s shoulders, “I should have known.”

 

“Seongwoo, Seongwoo,” Minhyun just coos, attempting to calm Seongwoo down. “None of this was your fault.

 

“It is,” Seongwoo refuses to hear Minhyun out, his voice weakening by the minute. “Everything is.”

 

He is the reason Minhyun is in the hospital, and he is the reason Minhyun’s parents have been worried sick for their son. As if fucking up his own life wasn’t enough for him – he had to go and fuck up Minhyun’s as well.

 

“No,” Minhyun says sternly. “Don’t you dare say that about yourself.”

 

Seongwoo finally opens his eyes, blinking the tears out. Minhyun looks at him and squeezes his hands for comfort, waiting for Seongwoo to calm down before speaking again, “Don’t blame yourself. You are the best thing that has happened to me in the longest time. I can’t lose you.”

 

Seongwoo really doesn’t deserve this. He has hell to pay for the person he has been to others, yet God has blessed him with his best angel. His top lip trembles as he traces Minhyun’s cheek with his hand and realises that Minhyun is right.

 

They can’t lose each other, not now.

 

“Come lie down with me?” Minhyun offers, smiling as he scoots over to the side to make space for Seongwoo. Without a word, Seongwoo climbs into the bed. It isn’t comfortable, but it suffices. Then Seongwoo feels bad again, because he cannot imagine Minhyun having to sleep in this bed for four nights already.

 

“Tell me everything I missed when I was gone,” Minhyun says. “Did anything exciting happen in school?”

 

“Please,” Seongwoo chuckles, finally feeling like they’re returning to normal. “Don’t you know me? I don’t involve myself in trivial matters in school. I’m Ong Seongwoo – an island on its own.”

 

Minhyun’s hearty laughter fills the ward and that’s when Seongwoo decides that they are going to be okay. If they have each other, they will pull through.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sungwoon’s head is buried deep into his books when he feels a breeze behind him. He whips his head around, but there is no one there. Again, he retreats to his books but not long after, he feels a breeze on his neck again. When there is a rustling noise behind the bookshelf, Sungwoon thinks he may have inkling as to who is behind this.

 

Sungwoon leaves his textbooks behind to investigate the matter; until his wrist gets pulled behind the same bookshelf. As he expected, there is only a cheeky grin greeting him.

 

“Hi,” Taehyun smiles, leaning in to kiss (?) Sungwoon but Sungwoon ducks in time, Taehyun missing his face by just an inch.

 

 _Oh, yeah_. They are trying out this “boyfriend” thing now, apparently. Because they have both professed their liking for each other and Taehyun really thinks that the two of them would make a cute couple.

 

But Sungwoon is still holding back on the whole skinship thing. Don’t get him wrong, because he likes Taehyun a lot. (He really does.) He just doesn’t think he’s ready for all that. After all, they are still keeping their relationship a secret.

 

“Couldn’t you say hi like a normal person?” Sungwoon grumbles.

 

“Do you want me to kiss you in public or in private?” Taehyun raises his eyebrows, smiling again when Sungwoon gives him that disapproving look. “Relax, I won’t do anything you don’t want. I’ve just been missing you the entire day.”

 

“Me too,” Sungwoon admits shyly. It is so embarrassing but ever since Taehyun has appeared in his life again, there isn’t a moment that he isn’t thinking of the other. He’d been called out earlier today by his teacher for not paying attention in class.

 

Taehyun’s hands are soft on his cheeks. Sungwoon really, really wants to kiss him right now.

 

“My eyes are up here,” Taehyun tsks, “Want to go back to studying instead of crouching behind bookshelves?”

 

No, not really. Sungwoon does not want to go back to doing something he has been doing his entire life when he could be experiencing so much more. Still, his parents think he is hard at work, so he should really get some studying done.

 

Sungwoon nods, pulling Taehyun along with him.

 

“Hey, hypothetically, if I had a few extra tickets to my dance showcase at the end of this month, would you be there to see it?”

 

Sungwoon stops writing his notes and turns to Taehyun. He cannot believe he is being asked to go to a dance showcase by the dance president himself. He’s not sure how he is ever going to get this past his parents, but he knows he already has his answer for Taehyun.

 

“Yes, absolutely yes,” Sungwoon gushes. The thought of being able to see Taehyun do what he is the most passionate in overwhelms Sungwoon – he cannot even begin to think that out of all people, Taehyun would ask him.

 

“Great,” Taehyun says, and Sungwoon knows he means it. “I would love for you to be there.”

 

The mere thought of meaning so much to someone is enough to keep Sungwoon happy for the rest of the afternoon. Although he still doesn’t understand how someone as great and beautiful as Noh Taehyun would want to give Sungwoon the time of day, he has learnt to accept things as they come to him.

 

He attempts to help Taehyun with his overdue math homework but the other soon falls asleep. Sungwoon just chuckles and passes time by playing with Taehyun’s hair and wondering how someone as excitable and playful when he is awake can look so vulnerable when he is asleep.

 

He thinks he may be falling in love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How do you climb up from rock bottom when you were once at the top? It hurts the most when you once had everything – but now, you have nothing. Daniel wishes that even though he can’t get back everything he once had, he will at least get back something.

 

He’s gone fucked up everything between Jihoon and him. The other boy has been ignoring him the entire week, not even bothering to spare him a glance when they pass each other in the hallways. Even if their eyes meet by chance, Jihoon turns away as if Daniel is just one of the others.

 

One of the others.

 

Daniel was never put in that position. He’s been in the spotlight his entire life. To have that taken away from him from someone he treasures is a complete nightmare.

 

“Jihoon, hey,” he calls out one morning when he cannot stand their cold war anymore. “Can we at least talk before pretending we don’t exist at all?”

 

“You can talk to people who you care about,” Jihoon snaps, not even glancing at the people who shoot them weird stares when they walk pass. Daniel stands his ground and tells himself not to bother about the bystanders either.

 

“I care about you,” Daniel says. “ _So much_.”

 

“Then you wouldn’t do this to me,” Jihoon resolves.

 

And Jihoon is right. If he truly understood what Jihoon went through before and what he truly felt insecure about, he would have never done that to Jihoon. He can’t even defend himself when Jihoon walks away from him into the crowd again.

 

As if he never existed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is so hard to forgive and forget. Especially when that someone means so much to you. Walking away from Kang Daniel has got to be the hardest thing Jihoon has done in his entire life.

 

And he’s gone through a lot.

 

It’s even harder to keep giving and giving and get nothing in return. Jihoon knows he should give without expecting anything in return but it is hard when all your love runs out, leaving you tired and unmotivated to chase after what your heart really wants anymore.

 

And right now, Jihoon really wants Daniel.

 

It is just a shame that he is too tired to keep on running.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I should leave before your parents come in,” Seongwoo says, attempting to detach himself from Minhyun’s side when he sees that it’s almost late evening. He’s already memorised Minhyun’s parent’s schedule.

 

They usually come in around eight, after work. They’ll bring Minhyun some of his favourite food because they know how much the food at the hospital sucks.

 

(Seriously- what is up with hospital food and tasting like crap? Minhyun had laughed when Seongwoo brought this up and said it’s because people are sick but then Seongwoo had argued this is why no one likes getting sick. They had a pretty heated debate over that; until the nurse had to interfere and run some tests.)

 

Minhyun says his parents have lightened up a lot since the incident. Maybe it’s the shock from receiving a call from the hospital saying that their son has collapsed in school. But Minhyun assures Seongwoo that his parents aren’t putting pressure on him to finish his piano showcase.

 

“Thank fuck,” Seongwoo had said. “You should never touch that devil of an instrument again.”

 

Minhyun just laughs.

 

“It’s not the piano, Seongwoo. It didn’t land me in here- I did.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Seriously, you don’t have to leave,” Minhyun says for the nth time, and this is also Seongwoo’s nth time at attempting to get out of the ward, only to get held back by Minhyun again. Minhyun has this crazy idea that Seongwoo should meet his parents.

 

It is crazy because Seongwoo is most definitely not going to see Minhyun’s parents like this. In a crumpled uniform with his tie very untidily tucked out and he’s sure he smells like cigarettes. He’s been trying to quit lately.

 

Not an easy task, he admits to himself.

 

“It’s better if I do,” Seongwoo replies. “Will you be back in school tomorrow?”

 

“Hopefully,” Minhyun makes a face. “I don’t think I can stand another day in here.”

 

“The Hwang Minhyun can’t stand peace and quiet?” Seongwoo teases with no menace. “Shocking.”

 

“See you later, alligator,” Seongwoo peeks his head in once last time after gathering his things. Minhyun’s parents should be arriving anytime soon so he really has to make his grand exit. Even if it means leaving Hwang Minhyun for the night.

 

Minhyun smiles at him softly. He is such a prince. Seongwoo is the luckiest man in the universe.

 

“Bye, bye, crocodile,” Minhyun chuckles.

 

Seongwoo shuts the door gently, still smiling to himself because it had taken him two whole days to convince Minhyun to say that back to him. It is a good night, especially because Minhyun is returning to school tomorrow.

 

And then everything will go back to normal.

 

“Excuse me-“ a voice interrupts Seongwoo’s thoughts. He lifts his head, maybe it’s a nurse or a doctor who wants to enter Minhyun’s ward.

 

But no, oh no. It is much, much worse.

 

“We’re Hwang Minhyun’s parents, and you must be Ong Seongwoo,” the lady, and of course Seongwoo recognises her and the man standing behind her.

 

“Do you have time for a short talk?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon stops in his tracks when he approaches his house. Even from afar, he knows who is at his doorstep and his heart skips two, maybe even three beats.

 

This is unfair, Kang Daniel. You are cheating.

 

“I don’t want to play games with you anymore,” Daniel decides. Jihoon just waits for him to continue. He really didn’t expect Daniel to come all the way here. “I know you hate me and I know you don’t want to see me but please let me explain myself. I promise I will leave you alone after that.”

 

But Kang Daniel has it all wrong, Jihoon thinks. His thinking is flawed because Jihoon can feel anything in the world except hatred for Kang Daniel. And more than anything, Jihoon doesn’t want to see Daniel leave, he wants him to stay instead.

 

“I think you already said everything you wanted to say though, no?”

 

“Park Jihoon, you have no idea.”

 

And really, he doesn’t.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel really doesn’t want to leave. For once, he has found someone who doesn’t feel the need to put that pressure on Daniel to be who he wants him to be. He can finally be himself around Jihoon, and that is all that matters.

 

He has made his choice.

 

“Can I hug you?” he asks when they have both put down their bags and Daniel cannot stand the suffocating silence between them anymore.

 

He just really, really wants to feel Jihoon in his arms again.

 

“Would that make things better?” Jihoon challenges.

 

“Yes,” Daniel replies. “I believe it would.”

 

Jihoon moves first, tightening his arms around Daniel’s waist and allowing himself to fit nicely into Daniel’s embrace. He is hesitant, but eventually rests his head on Daniel’s shoulder. Cupping the back of Jihoon’s head into his hand, Daniel breathes in. Everything feels just right. Even if the world around him is spinning; they are here, and they are together.

 

He feels so free.

 

“You were right,” Jihoon whispers, only for Daniel to hear and keep his words locked away in his heart. “This makes things a lot better.”

 

“I was being stupid,” Daniel admits. “I should have talked to you before anyone else. I’m sorry I shunned you in front of everyone, you didn’t deserve that at all.”

 

Jihoon pulls away from the hug and Daniel is almost afraid that he’s lost Jihoon for real when the other boy rests his hands on Daniel’s shoulder.

 

“Let’s work things out, okay?”

 

Finally, it feels like Daniel can calm down and stop chasing after Jihoon.

 

“Silly, I’m always here.”

 

And he needs to correct his habit of voicing his thoughts aloud.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They order chicken and sit on Jihoon’s couch, trying to “work things out”. But Jihoon doesn’t know how to go about it. He’s never had anyone value him enough to want to work something out with him.

 

It’s always been “it’s too hard” or “it’s not worth it” to Jihoon. But when Daniel leaves all the drumsticks for Jihoon to have after remembering what Jihoon had said about favouring that particular part of the chicken over others, Jihoon starts to think that there are some things in the world worth fighting for.

 

“You’re a messy eater,” Daniel and his stupid smile teases Jihoon.

 

“You’re a…” Jihoon is at a loss for counterattacks. “ _Dumbass_.”

 

“I really am,” Daniel says. “The thing is; I’m scared. And I may not look the part, but I’m terrified of how people look at me. When I look at you, I see a confident individual, and that scares me as well.”

 

“That’s not true,” Jihoon protests softly. There are many things in the world he is afraid of.

 

“It’s true,” Daniel shakes his head. “You’re the strongest person I have ever met. I feel like a coward in front of you- and I don’t want to disappoint you but I’m just not what you see. Everyone thinks I’m brave just because I’m the said captain of some football team, but the truth is I am scared of everything else.”

 

Jihoon just pauses to take everything in. This is Kang Daniel – not the one he knew from detention, nor the one he had spent the night with after detention. This is 100%, raw, Kang Daniel who is baring all his feelings to Jihoon.

 

“You don’t have to be,” Jihoon says. “You’re not alone.”

 

“Well, I sure as hell feel like I am most of the time,” Daniel says, tipping his head backwards.

 

Is he crying?

 

“My parents see a golden child, my teammates see a leader, my friends see a social butterfly, but I don’t think anyone sees me as I really am.”

 

“I see you,” Jihoon says. With more conviction, he adds, “I see everything. And it is beautiful.”

 

Daniel smiles, a little crooked, “You’re just saying that.”

 

Now Jihoon feels terrible for how he’s treated Daniel earlier, like he didn’t matter at all. He wishes he could give Daniel a hug right now, but his hands are oily, and he really doesn’t want to spoil the moment.

 

“Be with me,” Jihoon says. “And I can be with you. At least we’ll have each other.”

 

“I was trying,” Daniel half whines and half argues. “I had to go and fuck us up.”

 

“You did not,” Jihoon says, “If anything, I ruined it. Also, if you bring up the past one more time I will chase you out of my house and won’t let you back in.”

 

Daniel finally cracks his first genuine smile of the day.

 

He really looks like a puppy, Jihoon thinks.

 

“Fine,” Daniel shakes his head. “I’ll go wash my hands.”

 

He leaves the couch to go to the bathroom, and Jihoon follows. He watches Daniel through the mirror as he washes his hands and fails to hide a smile when their gazes meet. They’ve been so silly- all their life, they’ve been waiting for each other to appear, only for them to push each other away.

 

Well, Jihoon decides, no more running away. Staying is so much more worth it.

 

“You look cute,” Daniel lets slip. “I wish I could kiss you right now.”

 

“You _wish_ ,” Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Go away, the bathroom is too small for two.”

 

Daniel dries his hands and exchanges places with Jihoon, who sets his eyes on his target the moment the tap starts gushing with water. He hums a tune, watches Daniel turn away from him when he calls out, “Ya, Kang Daniel.”

 

“Wha-“

 

Jihoon grants Daniel’s wish for him by wrapping his arms around Daniel’s neck and locking their lips together. Daniel’s hands find their way to Jihoon’s back and he loses himself in the way Daniel’s hands travel up- and down and make themselves familiar with the shape of his body. He’s sure they both taste like fried chicken which he could honestly care less about anyway.

 

“ _I-_ “ Daniel breathes against Jihoon’s lips when they part for a short breath.

 

He doesn’t let Daniel continue. Their lips find each other again and Jihoon feels every part of his body growing accustomed to the way Daniel moves. It isn’t for a long time before Jihoon lets Daniel go again.

 

“- _adore you_.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sungwoon shifts uncomfortably in his seat as the couple in front of him continues to eat the other’s face out. Do people really have to kiss each other like that in public? I mean, at least think of other people’s eyes, right?

 

“Did you wait long?” a cheery voice brings hope into Sungwoon’s world. “Sorry I made you wait, we were finishing rehearsals.”

 

Sungwoon shakes his head, “I just got here. It’s okay, I had fun watching two other people make out in front of my face.”

 

Taehyun just gives Sungwoon a knowing smile and slips his hand into Sungwoon’s.

 

It’s the day of their first official date. Taehyun had proposed the idea a week ago, and Sungwoon was getting tired of having to meet up in secret with his boyfriend when all the other couples had a free pass to make out in public. (Not that he was planning to do that, but you get it.)

 

He’d lied to his parents, said that their school was having night study.

 

(Which is not all lie because they do have night study, Sungwoon never said he was going to attend it.)

 

“I’m starving,” Taehyun says casually as if his hand in Sungwoon doesn’t make his heart beat at 100 miles per hour. “Anything in particular you want to eat?”

 

Anything is fine when he is with Taehyun, really.

 

“You choose,” Sungwoon proposes. “You worked really hard today.”

 

“Hm…” Taehyun looks around. “Should we eat some hotpot? Let’s give ourselves a treat.”

 

A night out like this is already a treat, but anyway.

 

Sungwoon can already feel himself smiling from ear to ear as he professes his undying love for hotpot as they make their way upstairs to a restaurant Taehyun knows.

 

“Looks like I have competition for tonight,” Taehyun grumbles playfully.

 

Sungwoon just giggles and drags them in. It’s been so long- fuck it; it’s been forever since he’s felt this free from life in general. Taehyun is here in his post-training wear looking really cute and Sungwoon is going to have hotpot for dinner.

 

Life is great.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life is not so great when Taehyun insists on walking Sungwoon home that night. He’s honestly giddy from all the fun he’s had tonight with Taehyun- he’s never let go of Taehyun’s hand once and he thinks he’s finally starting to understand why someone would find their partner so attractive they would want to suck their face in public.

 

Only… Sungwoon doesn’t have the confidence to.

 

His throat starts to dry, and his heart rate only quickens in a bad way when they approach his house.

 

“Taehyun- _my dad_ ,” Sungwoon protests.

 

“I want to talk to him,” Taehyun says. “I’m not going to be that coward who ran away just because my boyfriend’s father told me to, alright?”

 

It is so sweet but Sungwoon honestly does not have a good feeling at all.

 

“I had fun tonight,” Sungwoon says anyway when they are at his front door.

 

“I had the most fun,” Taehyun agrees. “Thank you for skipping night study to go out with me.”

 

Sungwoon would honestly do it over and over again for Taehyun.

 

“I’m going to knock, okay?” Taehyun asks, a confident smile spread on his face. Sungwoon doesn’t know why someone who had gotten kicked out of his house the previous time could be so brave about facing his father again.

 

This just adds to Sungwoon’s mental list of reasons he is head over heels in love with Noh Taehyun.

 

Taehyun knocks twice- gently but loud enough to be heard. There is the light patter of footsteps that follow and Sungwoon holds his breath, bracing himself for the worst.

 

“Sungwoon? You-“

 

“Ah, hello,” Taehyun bows. “I’m Noh Taehyun, we’re from the same school.”

 

Playing the “just friends” card, Taehyun is so smart. Thankfully, it is only Sungwoon’s mother who answers the door. His father must be working late tonight. Still, she doesn’t look like she appreciates Taehyun’s presence.

 

“I know who you are, I just want to know what you are doing here.”

 

“Mom,” Sungwoon protests sternly.

 

“I got it,” Taehyun tells Sungwoon. “I know I didn’t make a first great impression previously, but I have something for you and Sungwoon’s father.”

 

Taehyun reaches into his back pocket and pulls out two strips of paper.

 

“It’s a lot to ask of you two, but it would mean the world to me if you came to see me dance. I saved you the best seats in the theatre, and I was hoping if you were satisfied with my performance I would have the chance to bring you two and Sungwoon out for dinner after.”

 

Sungwoon thinks his heart stops right there and then.

 

He is so going to marry Noh Taehyun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seongwoo shifts uncomfortably in his seat under the tight scrutiny of Hwang Minhyun’s parents. His mother is a prim and proper lady clad in a smart blouse which Seongwoo can only infer she works in some sort of office job. Minhyun’s father is no different, is anything, he looks neater and makes Seongwoo feel even smaller.

 

“We saw you entering and leaving our son’s ward these few days,” his mother starts. “Who are you?”

 

“I’m Ong Seongwoo, Minhyun’s friend from school.”

 

 _Friend_. Ha-ha. For some reason Seongwoo thinks it would be best to withhold any further information from Minhyun’s parents from now. His palms are already starting to sweat – he’s never been this way in front of any teacher, much less the discipline master or even the principal.

 

This somehow feels like it really matters.

 

“We don’t… want to judge,” Minhyun’s father breathes heavily. For a moment, Seongwoo sees Minhyun in his father. The calm and composed exterior is almost too hard to miss. “But we know that you have somehow gotten close to our son without our knowledge.”

 

 _Here it comes_ , Seongwoo thinks.

 

What are Minhyun’s parents going to do first; call a restraining order on him? Forbid him from ever having contact with Minhyun again? Send Seongwoo away? It all sounds like scenarios from a drama but with the two authoritarian figures sitting in front of him it seems that it will be made into a reality not long after.

 

“We just want to know what is wrong with Minhyun, and how we can best help him.”

 

Wait, _what_?

 

“Please,” Minhyun’s mother’s eyes brim with tears as she gathers Seongwoo’s hands in her warm ones. “Help Minhyun. It’s been forever since we heard him laugh as heartily as he has with you in the past few days. We need you.”

 

“Tell us what you need,” his father agrees. “We’ll give you anything as long as you bring our Minhyun back to us again.”

 

For some reason, Seongwoo’s eyes start to sting and he wipes his tears with his arm before they can fall.

 

“I’m… just a friend,” Seongwoo whispers, but they hear it. “I can’t do anything for him.”

 

“You already have,” his mother pleads. “We just need you by his side. Please.”

 

This is absolutely _not_ what Seongwoo had been expecting when both of Minhyun’s parents had confronted him. He was expecting to be chased out for the good of Minhyun. He understands, because he is bad news and no parent would want him near their child.

 

How can he expect anyone else to see the good in him – when he cannot even see an inch of good in himself?

 

But there are two grownups in front of him, telling him that he is all their son needs to keep going on. To them, he is everything good in the world. They see no flaw in him. All is supposedly good, but Seongwoo just wishes it didn’t have to come to this for people to realise that he mattered in this world.

 

Everything that happens after is a blur.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They’re in this situation. Again.

 

This is the second time Daniel is in Jihoon’s bed and it honestly feels completely different from the first. The first time felt rather… unreal. It felt fake and they just weren’t being _themselves_ around each other then.

 

Second time; Daniel thinks they’ve taken a huge step forward.

 

When Jihoon smiles, he doesn’t just see a cute boy in front of him smiling. Daniel also sees the courage behind his star-filled eyes and the way his lips form the prettiest smile and how his mouth parts to tell the funniest stories – and Daniel knows he sees Jihoon’s heart too. His pure, selfless and strong heart that led them to where they are today.

 

Watching anime under the covers.

 

A fort, Daniel had called it.

 

“This is stupid,” Jihoon whispers, although Daniel knows he doesn’t really mean it because he’s hiding his smile when he says that.

 

“ _Trust me_ ,” Daniel replies. “When you watch it under the covers like this it enhances the experience. Or something like that.”

 

“Yeah- like we’re going to be ninjas and get to go on adventures. _Sure_.”

 

Daniel likes the sarcastic side of Jihoon a lot. It gives him more opportunities to pinch the other’s cheek.

 

“It’s an _experience_ ,” Daniel rolls his eyes, playing the episode again.

 

They fall back into a comfortable silence as Jihoon leans his head on Daniel’s shoulder.

 

Daniel likes this. He likes this boy, a lot.

 

“Daniel?”

 

He turns to Jihoon.

 

“I trust you.”

 

His heart blooms – into some sort of flower that makes him feel pure happiness and love burst out from where he’s been keeping his feelings hidden. Pressing a gentle kiss onto the other boy’s forehead, Daniel thinks he’s finally found where he’s supposed to belong.

 

 _Right here_ , Daniel thinks. _Next to you_.

 

“I trust you too.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

School is decidedly okay, Minhyun thinks.

 

His friends show concern for him like he expects, Jinyoung bounds up to him to ask whether he is still going to perform at his piano showcase and Minhyun tells him yes. Seongwoo meets him first thing in the morning at his lockers with a new pet name that makes Minhyun blush from the tip of his ears and chide Seongwoo for being such a dumbass.

 

His mother is waiting for him with food at home.

 

His dad is there too, which makes Minhyun frown a little but he chooses to look past that when his mother rubs his shoulders and tells him to take a quick bath, which he does.

 

And then the doorbell rings, which Minhyun doesn’t pay much attention to.

 

He runs to open it, thinking it is the postman who comes to deliver packages for his mother every now and then.

 

“Hi.”

 

It’s not the postman standing at his door. It’s a boy – one with the smile that drives him kind of crazy in a good and bad way and one who knows that Minhyun’s brain is working hard to come up with a reason as to why Ong Seongwoo is at his doorstep.

 

“Seongwoo?”

 

Seongwoo bites down on his lower lip, looking a bit nervous and embarrassed, a side Minhyun is still not used to seeing.

 

“I just came to-“

 

“Hyunie, is that Seongwoo? _Oh, it is_. Come on, let him in, what are you doing?” his mother rushes to his side and pulls Seongwoo in by the wrist. “You look hungry, Seongwoo, do you want some snacks? Well, you don’t have much of a choice. Come sit.”

 

Minhyun just watches, very confused, as his mother leads Seongwoo to the kitchen where his father doesn’t look all that surprised to see Seongwoo at all. In fact, Seongwoo even bows his head and gets a pat on the back from Minhyun’s father in return.

 

Seongwoo just gives Minhyun another shy smile.

 

“Y-You’re here,” Minhyun blinks again, not really believing. “But I just saw you.”

 

Lowering his voice as Minhyun’s parents step out of the kitchen for a while, Seongwoo replies bashfully, “I wanted to tell you, but I really didn’t know how to start. Your mom, and your dad, they asked me to be here. For you. They invited me over.”

 

Minhyun looks over at his parents, who gesture at him to talk to Seongwoo.

 

He just sighs.

 

“Why? Are you not happy to see me?” Seongwoo’s voice tinges with a little bit of teasing, easing Minhyun into this strange but not at all disappointing situation. He allows himself to sit down beside Seongwoo and grab a biscuit his mother had set out.

 

“No,” Minhyun argues, reaching for Seongwoo’s hand under the table.

 

Just in case his parents are watching or something.

 

He finds Seongwoo, and their fingers intertwine naturally.

 

“I’m just really surprised and confused,” Minhyun explains. “I didn’t expect to see you here too.”

 

“I’m here, _honey boo boo_ ,” Seongwoo winks.

 

“And I think I’m here to stay, too.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sungwoon knows he’s spiralling. It starts from the smallest things, like being the last one to be picked on a team during physical education, or the teacher never calling on him even though he raises his hand to answer every question.

 

And then it spirals even further into no one even sparing him a glance in the hallways.

 

Sungwoon thought he’d become used to this. It’d become a habit to lower his head in the corridors and take whatever comes his way in stride. He wants to go along with the way the earth is spinning but it is so fucking hard when you feel like you are a waste of space in it.

 

He’s running down the halls, vision blurry because of the tears in his eyes.

 

But he doesn’t care. He always cares too much – maybe he should try not caring at all.

 

“Sungwoon, _Sungwoon_!”

 

Someone grabs him by his shoulders to stop him from tripping and falling on his face and becoming the next laughing stock in town. He can already feel everyone’s gazes on him. He must look so, so stupid to everyone watching right now.

 

“Sungwoon, look at me.”

 

Sungwoon takes a deep breath and although his glasses are foggy, he thinks he would recognise that face anywhere.

 

“Taehyun,” Sungwoon breathes. He takes in a breath of fresh air.

 

He looks around; and finds out that he was mistaken.

 

No one is looking, no one even looks at him crouching down on his feet or at Taehyun worriedly peering at Sungwoon to see if he’s okay.

 

“Hey, we’re going to stand up. And then I’m going to bring you somewhere quiet. Okay? Then, you’re going to calm down and tell me what’s this all about. Come on.”

 

Somehow, he’s thankful to Taehyun for not making a big spectacle out of this. He just nods and allows Taehyun to pull him up to his feet and put an arm around his shoulder to support him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You okay?”

 

Seongwoo is not okay. He’s very awed and shocked at how big Minhyun’s room is. He can fit a whole piano in here, along with his bed and his big closet. Seongwoo feels small, for once.

 

Minhyun’s hand on his back assures him that he is okay.

 

“I’m fine,” Seongwoo smiles.

 

Minhyun just nods and flips open a book filled with musical notes and takes his seat at the piano. Seongwoo frowns immediately.

 

“You’re _still_ playing at the showcase? I had to hear from Jinyoung about this.”

 

Honestly, Seongwoo wasn’t very pleased when he’d heard the news from others that Minhyun was still intending to carry on with the showcase, which wasn’t very far in time from now. He knows that Minhyun doesn’t like the piano at all, nor does he actually want to do anything related to the piano in the future.

 

He’s just afraid that Minhyun’s pushing himself for the sake of meeting his parent’s expectations.

 

“I can’t just give up,” Minhyun replies, expression stoic, making it clear to Seongwoo that there is no room for argument here.

 

“Yeah but- it’s not about that. I don’t want you doing anything that is going to upset you. You don’t like the piano, or care about who attends the showcase anyway. I don’t understand,” Seongwoo says, exasperated.

 

Minhyun inhales sharply.

 

“Maybe it’s not just all about me. It’s about my parents, and _you_ , too.”

 

“Me?” Seongwoo scoffs. “If you were doing it for me you would know I wouldn’t want you to do this _at all_.”

 

“My parents are speaking more ever since I got discharged. You should have seen the smiles on both their faces when I told them that I wouldn’t give up on the showcase. And _you_ – I want to see your smile light up when I play this stupid fucking piece perfectly in front of everyone’s faces so that you can be proud to have me as _your boyfriend_. But I guess I should just think of myself and what I want, _huh_?”

 

Seongwoo’s eyes well up with tears.

 

“I’m sorry- I went too far,” Minhyun whispers hesitantly to break the tension in the room.

 

Seongwoo takes the first step to wrap Minhyun in a big hug. The one that has both of them burying their faces into the other’s shoulder, both seeking comfort and forgiveness from the other.

 

“No, I should have supported you no matter what,” Seongwoo insists. “I’m sorry. I talk like I know everything about you when I forgot you know yourself best.”

 

They stay like that for a while, knowing that they are both safe in each other’s embrace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Are you going to ruin your pretty face with tears?”

 

Sungwoon knows that Taehyun is just trying to cheer him up and he really shouldn’t be that easy to fall for such cheesy words that sound like they were plucked out of a badly written drama, but he does; he giggles and covers his face in embarrassment again.

 

“You like that, huh?” Taehyun teases again, finally lightening up now that he’s finally seen Sungwoon’s smile. He pokes Sungwoon in his tummy, “hey, look up. I want to see your pretty face.”

 

“Stop that,” Sungwoon warns.

 

“Come on,” Taehyun urges yet again. “Look at me, please?”

 

Finally, Sungwoon removes his hands. He probably looks like a mess, red eyes and snotty nose and probably swollen lips.

 

“Hi,” Taehyun smiles.

 

“Hi,” Sungwoon manages. He sighs after, “I’m sorry.”

 

Taehyun’s smile drops, “Hey. I told you not to say sorry if you didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

Sungwoon gathers his hands together, surprised when Taehyun grabs them and wraps them in his own.

 

“Want to tell me what happened?”

 

Sungwoon nods, knowing he’ll feel better if he gets this out of his system. Otherwise it might just come back to haunt him sooner or later. Taehyun smiles reassuringly again and props himself up on the table that Sungwoon is sitting on, their shoulders touching.

 

Taehyun just waits for Sungwoon to form his words.

 

“I just feel _so_ … invisible. It feels like no one sees me. I’m trying my best, I really am. It just doesn’t feel like anything I do will ever amount to anything and I know it’s just my insecurities talking to me, but they exist for a reason, don’t they? I just want to be seen.”

 

He’s always tried his best for his parents. He’d studied hard to earn their appreciation because of how much love they’d showed to his older brother when he made it into one of the most prestigious universities.

 

“I’m trying but it feels like I will never be enough.”

 

His grades are mediocre, and his personality is average at best. Everything about him is lacklustre and really, is it so hard to wish that at least one part of him could be outstanding to say the least?

 

“Hey, you want to hear a funny story?”

 

Sungwoon nods anyway. He’s sure Taehyun will find some way to cheer him up.

 

“The day you asked me out was not the first day I saw you. I first heard about you from one of my juniors in the dance club. He was lost on his first day of school and a certain quiet boy came up to him and showed him the way to his class. _Guess who?_ ”

 

Sungwoon glances at Taehyun, who gives him a small smile.

 

“Maybe that was a coincidence. Or maybe one day my vice-president had trouble with opening his locker because his lock was faulty or something and no one stopped to help. Until someone came along with his arms filled with textbooks and dropped them all just to show him the right way to fix his broken lock. Guess who was there to witness the whole thing?”

 

Taehyun points at himself and mouths, “Surprise!”

 

Sungwoon has no recollection of these things at all.

 

“Or maybe when I was running rounds at the track a few months back and I probably looked so out of breath that you had to offer everything left in your water bottle for me. And then you ran off without even asking for it back because you were late for your next class.”

 

“Another funny story for you: you gave a junior that extra dollar when he didn’t have his wallet to buy a snack at the vending machine three months back.”

 

Or maybe… if he thinks hard enough he can remember some of these scenes replaying in his head. But it has never been an important memory to him.

 

“Sungwoon, you’re _more_ than enough. You have to understand that the world we live in is almost blind to kindness – that’s why they can’t seem to see you. But I saw you, and I can assure you that there are more people out there who see you too.”

 

They link their fingers together.

 

“I want to believe you,” Sungwoon says.

 

He really does. Everything that Taehyun says feels like a dream.

 

“Then believe me,” Taehyun assures him. “You can say I was the one who fell for you first. Even now, I see you in your true form and I don’t think I’m going anywhere.”

 

It takes a while for Sungwoon to take it all in.

 

“Thank you,” he finally says. “That means so much to me.”

 

“You mean a lot to me,” Taehyun confesses, and this time he is the one to shyly look down at their intertwined fingers. “And I don’t ever want you to feel like you mean any less.”

 

And Sungwoon thinks he really, really wants to kiss Noh Taehyun now.

 

So, he does.

 

Albeit a little clumsy because it is his first time, Taehyun senses his nervousness and helps him through it. Taehyun’s lips are soft on his and it is not like Sungwoon has ever daydreamed about kissing in particular – but it feels… nice. Taehyun’s hand is caressing the nape of his neck gently, the other one resting lightly on Sungwoon’s arm.

 

He wonders if he should move but is too buzzed to even make another move. Sungwoon just lets himself drown in the feeling of Taehyun and Taehyun, and more Taehyun.

 

They part slowly to catch their breath, but anyone can tell they are both unwilling to let go.

 

“Thank you,” Sungwoon’s breath ghosts on Taehyun’s lips again and he stops short of kissing him again.

 

Taehyun just smiles, wraps Sungwoon in his arms, and pats his head gently.

 

And maybe they share a few more kisses in the dark music room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Teach me,” a cheeky voice teases Minhyun from the back, and soon after he feels someone nudging his shoulder. He fakes an exasperated sigh and scoots over to make some space for Seongwoo, who delicately places his fingers on the piano, as if he is dealing with something delicate.

 

“I told you not to interrupt me during practice,” Minhyun scrunches his nose in frustration.

 

“I told you not to overwork yourself,” Seongwoo sing-songs. “Now, take a break and teach me something easy.”

 

“Don’t you think that will give me more stress?”

 

Seongwoo pinches him lightly, causing him to squeak and almost fall out of his chair if it weren’t for Seongwoo’s fast reflexes to grab him.

 

“C’mon Hwang Minhyun, show me what playing the piano is all about.”

 

Well, what is playing the piano all about? Minhyun doesn’t really know. And he should, considering it’s an instrument he’s taken up ever since he was a young boy. The piano is something that has occupied most of his days before Ong Seongwoo came into the picture. It was a burden and something he’d thought of burning down on multiple occasions.

 

Now, it feels more like a hobby. Maybe sometimes he likes playing nice music, and he likes when Seongwoo praises him whenever he plays even if he makes mistakes.

 

“It requires a lot of patience, are you sure you can take it?” Minhyun laughs hollowly.

 

Seongwoo doesn’t appreciate the jab Minhyun takes at him.

 

“I hate you,” Seongwoo deflates, looking disappointed. He perks up again soon in a second, “The showcase is this Friday, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Minhyun blinks. “Time passes really fast.”

 

He’d used to hate how slowly the world spun on its axis. It felt like everything was in slow-motion and he was the only one who could feel like he was being left behind in this fast-paced universe. Now, it finally feels like he’s getting back on track.

 

Seongwoo rubs his back lovingly, “Nervous?”

 

Minhyun chuckles, “A little? Not so much now that I’m not doing it to get into a prestigious university or anything. I just want to prove that I can do it.”

 

Seongwoo has that goofy smile on his face when Minhyun looks at him after he doesn’t say anything for a while.

 

“What?” he prompts the other boy.

 

“Nothing,” Seongwoo shakes his head. “I’m just… really proud of you.”

 

“Aw,” Minhyun coos, cupping Seongwoo’s face with his hands. “You’re being _soft_.”

 

The Ong Seongwoo he knows is packed with a load of overconfidence and sarcasm topped off with cheesy jokes and unnecessary touching under the dinner table. And Minhyun has chosen to fall in love with it.

 

 _This_ Ong Seongwoo rarely makes an appearance but Minhyun discovers his existence two days prior to this moment.

 

(It happens when they’re lying down on Minhyun’s bed and Minhyun is playing with Seongwoo’s fingers when Seongwoo suddenly confesses _softly_ that he likes Minhyun a lot. And when Minhyun looks up at Seongwoo’s face he finds tears brimming in Seongwoo’s eyes.

 

Needless to say, Minhyun teases Seongwoo a lot for getting emotional after that.)

 

“I’m not,” Seongwoo protests. “You’re delusional.”

 

“Don’t be,” Minhyun caresses Seongwoo’s hair softly. “I like it when you’re soft.”

 

Finally, Seongwoo shows some sign of him giving in to Minhyun when a small smile spreads across his lips.

 

“Come on,” Minhyun places Seongwoo’s fingers on the keyboard. “I’ll teach you.”

 

Seongwoo gives him the widest grin after.

 

They give up half an hour later and unanimously decide that Seongwoo was definitely not born to play the piano.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon fiddles nervously with his fingers at the benches at the side of their school’s football field. He isn’t sure if he should even be here, but Daniel _did_ tell Jihoon to come and watch him watch him practice sometime.

 

He just hasn’t been ready to make an appearance for the past few days. Somehow, he’s feeling a little braver today.

 

Jihoon wanders around for a moment – until someone calls out to him.

 

“Hey, you’re Park Jihoon right?” a slim boy in the same uniform comes up to Jihoon, tapping his shoulder gently.

 

“Uh,” Jihoon manages. “Yeah?”

 

“I’m Lee Daehwi, in your Language class. You want to come and sit with me and my friends?”

 

Jihoon looks behind Daehwi to see two other boys looking back at him.

 

He turns to other way where he thinks he spots Daniel with his teammates running laps around the field.

 

“Yeah,” Jihoon decides. “Why not.”

 

Why not, indeed. Daehwi leads him to their spot on the benches where his two other friends introduce themselves as Bae Jinyoung and Lai Guanlin, who welcome him happily.

 

No doubt a little uncomfortable in this new setting with complete strangers, Jihoon tries to make himself look as at ease as possible. He rubs his hands together and squints into the sunlight to spot Daniel in his number “12” jersey.

 

Daniel spots him, he looks confused for just a moment, until he recognises that yes, it is Jihoon watching him and waves to him excitedly.

 

“He looks happy to see you,” Daehwi chimes.

 

Jihoon waves back with the same kind of enthusiasm.

 

“Yeah,” he breathes. “I think he’s been waiting for a long time for me to come.”

 

Fuck if Daniel’s other teammates give them strange looks because they’re just two teenagers who may be a little in love. As soon as the coach blows the whistle for them to take a break, Daniel runs over to where Jihoon is sitting and envelopes him in a tight hug.

 

“Is this okay?” Jihoon asks hesitantly.

 

“More than okay,” Daniel nods into the crook of Jihoon’s neck. “Thank you for coming.”

 

 _What a big puppy_ , Jihoon chuckles. This feels nice, them being themselves in front of everyone and not caring what anyone thinks about them. They should have done this so much earlier.

 

Daniel intertwines their fingers naturally after letting go.

 

“New friends?” he asks, cocking his head to the three boys Jihoon was sitting with before.

 

“Kind of,” Jihoon shrugs. “They were nice and told me to sit with them.”

 

“That’s nice,” Daniel hums. “But you’re still mine for dinner, right?”

 

“All yours,” Jihoon assures.

 

They’re planning to go for some ramen tonight at a store that just opened down the street.

 

The coach blows the whistle again and Jihoon unconsciously groans, “Already?”

 

Daniel grins, presses a chaste kiss to Jihoon’s forehead before he can protest.

 

“I’ll see you after practice. You should stay in the library to wait for me, it’s getting hot.”

 

“No need,” Jihoon insists. “I want to watch you.”

 

“Cheeky,” Daniel doesn’t argue and pinches Jihoon’s cheek before running off to join his teammates again.

 

Jihoon just retreats back to his spot with Daehwi and the rest, where they’re already waiting with ice-creams. He smiles and accepts the gift graciously. He could live with this, Jihoon thinks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Did you know that Minhyun hyung is having a piano showcase tomorrow? The same day Sungwoon hyung’s boyfriend is having his dance showcase,” Jihoon lets slip after their stomachs are full of two bowls of very delicious ramen.

 

They still both make the decision to buy lollipops as dessert.

 

 _The little things_ , Daniel decides. _Are the things that make him the happiest_.

 

“Really?” Daniel hums. “I haven’t talked to either of them in… forever. Why? Do you want to go?”

 

Jihoon shakes his head, avoiding the cracks in the road while replying, “Neither have I. I just thought it was nice of us to know and look back on, maybe.”

 

He hasn’t caught up with Seongwoo ever since Minhyun came back from the hospital. They’re not exactly “friends” who need to “catch up”. And Daniel rarely sees Sungwoon around in school anyway.

 

In a way, he thinks maybe Seongwoo was right.

 

Nothing changed between most of them.

 

Daniel’s just very glad that Seongwoo’s wrong about the Jihoon part.

 

“You’re happy for them?” Daniel asks.

 

Jihoon nods.

 

“I’m glad they got their happy ending,” Jihoon says in a soft voice.

 

Daniel agrees. As flawed as they had been when they’d met for the first time, they were all human beings who deserved a happy ending as much as anyone else. His heart is at peace to know that somehow, in some way, they have all come to terms with their insecurities and flaws to be the best person they can be.

 

“You’re mine,” Daniel chuckles. “My happy ending.”

 

He knows he’s getting a playful nudge when the words leave his mouth.

 

“I knew you were going to say something stupid!” Jihoon whines when Daniel recovers.

 

“Sorry,” Daniel pouts. “I’ll make it up to you.”

 

Without warning, he pounces onto Jihoon’s back.

 

“Ow,” Jihoon groans but makes no attempt to shake Daniel off. (Because he’s whipped like that.)

 

“How is this making it up to me?” Jihoon doesn’t stop complaining even when they get strange looks from people watching them.

 

“I’m giving you a once in a lifetime experience by allowing you to give me a piggyback ride, any idea how much people would _pay_ to do this for me?”

 

Jihoon just huffs and gives in to what Daniel wants.

 

“Hey,” Daniel blows at Jihoon’s neck, where he knows the boy is sensitive. “I like you.”

 

Jihoon just frowns, “Okay.”

 

“I like you, Park Jihoon!” Daniel shouts, visibly scaring a few passersby.

 

“Stop!” Jihoon whines. “It’s embarrassing.”

 

“What?” Daniel feigns ignorance. “It feels nice to say out loud.”

 

Jihoon drops Daniel down from his back and intertwines their fingers again. Suddenly, Jihoon presses a quick kiss to his lips. Daniel doesn’t even have time to react before Jihoon pulls away and says, “It feels nice to show it too.”

 

Jihoon runs ahead without warning, and Daniel chases after him.

 

They’re free and maybe dumb teenagers in love.

 

But when they’re together, it’s okay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You look nice,” a voice interrupts him from behind.

 

Minhyun lets out a sigh of relief immediately and allows himself to indulge in Seongwoo’s embrace for a while instead of trying to remain professional.

 

“Nervous?” Seongwoo chuckles. “You’re going to do just fine, I know it.”

 

“You claim to know a lot of things,” Minhyun chides, feeling his nervousness fade away just with Seongwoo standing in front of him in a nice dress shirt.

 

God, it feels really different seeing Seongwoo like this. He runs his hand down the shirt from Seongwoo’s shoulders to his arms and to his wrist. It fits Seongwoo perfectly.

 

He is very in love.

 

“If anyone asks I didn’t see anything but I think I might have seen your parents holding hands when I came to say hi to them earlier,” Seongwoo whispers into Minhyun’s ear.

 

He smiles.

 

“They’re talking about stuff… again. Starting with my dad moving in.”

 

Seongwoo’s smile spreads unconsciously as he wraps Minhyun’s hands in his as if Minhyun is talking about Seongwoo’s family.

 

“Really? I’m so happy for _you_ – and them, of course.”

 

“Me too,” Minhyun chews on his lower lip, not wanting to say too much in case he jinxes the situation, but he’s heard his parents talking in the kitchen about maybe re-thinking the divorce, saying they had rushed into something in the heat of the moment.

 

Maybe things are starting to work out for Minhyun after all.

 

“Maybe it’s you,” Minhyun teases. “You’re our lucky charm.”

 

“I didn’t do anything,” Seongwoo refuses. “Shit, I have to go in to get the best seats now. You’re going to do amazing on stage, I know it. You’re wonderful and talented and you’ve put so much work into this and even if you screw up just know that _I love you_ and-“

 

“Seongwoo,” Minhyun gasps.

 

“What?” Seongwoo looks up from his rambling. “ _Oh_.”

 

He said the word. He said he _loved_ Minhyun.

 

“Well, it’s true. _I love you_ ,” Seongwoo finally says after a few seconds of silence pass. “And please, no pressure to say it back. You’re going to wow everyone.”

 

“No,” Minhyun grabs Seongwoo’s wrist before he can run off.

 

“I love you, too.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He’s called on stage after the fifth pianist plays.

 

The previous pieces have been so beautiful, Minhyun doesn’t know if his will match up to any of them.

 

Taking a deep breath, Minhyun tries to put on a smile for everyone even though his stomach feels like crap and he’s sure he’s shivering out of fear. He’s never had stage fright. Then again, he’s never done anything this important in his life.

 

He spots Seongwoo immediately who has the widest grin plastered on his face.

 

He also sees his parents, sitting side by side, waving to him.

 

He can do this.

 

A while after, the applause dies down for Minhyun to start playing.

 

As his fingers lift themselves and start to play the piece by pure memory and practice, Minhyun starts to think that he didn’t just do this for his parents and Seongwoo. Granted, they were a big part of his journey, but he thinks he’s also doing this for himself.

 

He remembers sitting on the bridge and watching the waters rush below him and wondering if the world would be any different if he had fallen off.

 

And the answer is _yes_ , things would be completely different. He wouldn’t be here, playing for such a large audience, his parents would never have gotten back together; in fact, they might hate each other even more if anything had happened to him.

 

And _Seongwoo_.

 

He would have never met Seongwoo – would have never got to tell Seongwoo how much he loved him; and the way he gets emotional over the smallest things and the way his eyes crinkle with happiness when he’s fascinated and the way Minhyun feels his heart beat like crazy around him.

 

He would have never gotten to see the smile Seongwoo has on his face when he finishes his piece flawlessly and the way Seongwoo stands up with such pride and confidence to clap for Minhyun.

 

In the end, _this_ will always be worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

People always surprise others in the best ways.

 

Sungwoon doesn’t expect his father to come, but he does. Maybe his mother had to do something about it, but he doesn’t care. All that matters is that his father is walking through the front doors of the theatre to join Sungwoon in their front row seats that _a special someone_ had saved for them.

 

He’s ecstatic and can’t wait for Taehyun to see this.

 

He wishes he could run backstage right now to tell Taehyun the good news, but he knows they are probably doing some last-minute check ins with the choreography and make-up and Sungwoon doesn’t want to ruin many month’s long of preparation for this showcase, so he stays put in his seat.

 

“We bought flowers for Taehyun,” his mother says as a greeting.

 

“He’ll be so happy,” Sungwoon assures them. “You should give it to him later yourselves.”

 

“These seats are uncomfortable,” his father complains softly from the side, and Sungwoon knows he is probably feeling awkward about this whole situation but he’s trying his best.

 

“Dad?” he calls out. “Thank you for coming. It means a lot to Taehyun and I.”

 

His father just hums gruffly before setting into his seat without another word.

 

The lights dim as the last few audience members trail into the theatre so Sungwoon starts to prepare himself and his camera, just so that he can remember this moment forever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sungwoon may have lost his voice cheering tonight.

 

But well, it’s worth it because Taehyun has the sweetest smile plastered on his face when they do their final bow and he sees Sungwoon with his parents cheering for him at the front seat. He’s sweaty and breathing heavily, but his eyes are watery and Sungwoon just wishes he could run up onto the stage and give his boyfriend the biggest hug.

 

“H-Hi,” Taehyun pants into the microphone when it is passed onto him to make his final speech.

 

The audience cheers again – and they deserve it. They’ve put up a spectacular show tonight.

 

“Thank you all so much for coming down tonight, and of course, to my members who have put up with months of practice and me yelling at them for even being a second too fast or slow. You are the whole reason why this showcase could even take place.”

 

Taehyun’s members cheer for their president instead, and Sungwoon is so happy to know that Taehyun is loved.

 

“And- I just really want to thank someone special for being here tonight. I’ll keep it short because he hates cheesy stuff,” Taehyun laughs, and most people laugh along with him. Some even whop and whistle to show their support.

 

“Even if you don’t believe it, I see you. I always have. I see you – and it is beautiful.”

 

Without a doubt, Sungwoon believes him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After rainbows come more storms.

 

Seongwoo wasn’t even asking for it this time. He was just trying something he’d learnt off the internet over the weekend for Minhyun (some famous flirting technique in Japan; _“Kabe-Don”_?) in an attempt to fluster his boyfriend who frankly has gotten quite accustomed to Seongwoo’s post-it notes and doesn’t flush anymore when Seongwoo pulls out a new pet name for him.

 

So there he was, his hand on the wall, trapping Minhyun between the wall and him.

 

Trying out his new _technique_ , if you will.

 

Innocent fun, Seongwoo swears.

 

Though not quite appropriate for school settings, he also understands.

 

So if he were caught and punished for indecent behaviour it would be completely acceptable and he would go along with it happily.

 

But the voice that resounds down the hallway is familiar.

 

“Ong Seongwoo!”

 

Mr Lee marches down past the hoard of students and holds up a blue plastic in his hand.

 

“Finally, I have you where you deserve to be,” Mr Lee snaps.

 

Seongwoo just looks at Minhyun then at the plastic Mr Lee is holding, containing a white powder he is willing to admit he is more than familiar with but has not touched or seen in forever.

 

“I’m sorry?” Seongwoo cocks his head to the side.

 

“These drugs were found in your locker. Care to explain?”

 

“Uh,” Seongwoo replies dumbly. “Yes? They’re not mine.”

 

“Funny,” Mr Lee chuckles. “What about these cigarettes found in there too?”

 

Seongwoo looks at the packet Mr Lee pulls from his pocket.

 

“Uh-uh,” Seongwoo shakes his head. “I’ve _quit_. For months now, Sir.”

 

It’s very puzzling, but Seongwoo knows these are not his.

 

“You want to tell that to the police or follow me to my office, right now?” Mr Lee demands.

 

He feels his anger rising even before he can stop it.

 

“What the fuck,” Seongwoo snaps. “Are you allowed to blindly accuse your students like this? Just because it was found in my locker means it’s mine? Do you have no idea how locks here can easily be tampered with? The school buys cheap locks; it is easy to break into anyone’s locker.”

 

Minhyun grabs onto his wrist before he can explode further.

 

“Sir, it’s true. Seongwoo has quit smoking and whatever _drugs_ you think he did before for four months now, I can testify.”

 

“Yelling at the discipline master,” Mr Lee notes down. “Use of profanity. Anything else, Ong?”

 

His fingers clench into fists unconsciously.

 

“Calm down,” Minhyun urges Seongwoo in a low voice. “Just follow him to his office. I’ll call my dad to look into this, okay?”

 

He even squeezes Seongwoo’s hand reassuringly to comfort him.

 

 _Damn_ , Seongwoo can’t even be mad anymore when Minhyun gives him the _soft_ treatment.

 

He just nods and follows Mr Lee down to his office, much to the delight of the discipline master.

 

He was just getting Minhyun to blush from the _Kabe-Don_ trick he had pulled earlier, too. It’s annoying, how life can get in the way of him and his very beautiful boyfriend. Without even realising, Seongwoo starts to get more and more frustrated at this bald man for ruining the perfect morning for him.

 

When Mr Lee slams his office door behind him, Seongwoo decides to make him pay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His decision lands him in detention.

 

 _Now that_ – neither Minhyun nor his father could protect him from.

 

Luckily, the situation was resolved quickly when the security cameras were checked and Seongwoo’s locker was indeed tampered with by some freshman who was allegedly jealous about Seongwoo’s relationship with Minhyun.

 

(Seongwoo had rolled his eyes when the freshman had begged him not to press any charges; but he took one look at Minhyun’s eyes and gave in anyway.)

 

But the discipline master being an absolute dick to Seongwoo is another story and he might have said some things that lands him in the library, alone, on a Saturday morning.

 

He really should have thought this through.

 

Clicking his pen one, two times doesn’t help this suffocating silence either.

 

 _Fuck_ , he really wishes he were anywhere but here in this library right now. Maybe in Minhyun’s home, with fresh and hot breakfast served by his parents. That sounds really good.

 

There’s a knock on the door, waking Seongwoo up from his daydream about eggs and toast. Maybe even a glass of that grapefruit juice Minhyun is so crazy about.

 

“This seat taken?” a finger points to the chair beside Seongwoo.

 

He glances between the new face and the empty seat, confused.

 

“Tongue-tied?” the same voice teases. “Or you don’t like talking to people like me?”

 

“ _Tongue-tied_ , definitely,” Seongwoo assures, pulling out the chair. “By your pretty face.”

 

Minhyun chokes back a laughter and takes his rightful seat beside Seongwoo.

 

“Idiot,” he says, wrapping his hand around Seongwoo’s neck and crashes their lips together without even a warning.

 

Seongwoo might change his mind; maybe Minhyun does have the upper hand at this flirting game thing after all.

 

He smiles into their kiss, whining when Minhyun tries to pull away, but somehow manages to coerce Minhyun back into making out with him by cupping his face.

 

“ _Seong_ -“ Minhyun gasps. “-stop. We can’t do this _now_.”

 

Seongwoo would like to disagree with that statement. Now is the perfect time to makeout with your boyfriend in the library during detention, really. Maybe Minhyun is afraid of Mr Lee walking in but Seongwoo is absolutely sure that that shit-head of a man is really busy in his office-

 

“Uh. I think we might be interrupting something.”

 

Seongwoo literally jumps out of his chair from the sudden interruption.

 

Minhyun’s face is red from embarrassment, and Seongwoo is sure he doesn’t look any less guilty.

 

He stares at Jihoon, who just covers Daniel’s eyes belatedly.

 

“What the fuck,” Seongwoo manages to put three words together.

 

Daniel puts Jihoon’s hand down.

 

“Maybe try not to make out when _we’re_ here, too?” Daniel feigns a disgusted expression which has Jihoon exploding into a fit of laughter (he’s not sure what is very funny about this whole situation but anyway).

 

He tosses his backpack onto the table behind Seongwoo like the annoying jock he is.

 

Minhyun is smiling a very mysterious smile.

 

“You invited people to _our exclusive sleepover_?” Seongwoo pouts indignantly.

 

“Please,” Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Not everything is about you.”

 

“They wanted to be here,” Minhyun whispers in a voice heard only by Seongwoo. “When they heard what Mr Lee did to you they didn’t want to just sit by and watch.”

 

 _Kang Daniel and Park Jihoon, huh?_ Seongwoo grins. _What a fucking surprise._

 

“Hi, do we have space for one more?”

 

A particular bespectacled boy peeps his head into the room and smiles when he sees the crowd that’s already gathered. He whispers something under his breath to someone behind the door and finally manages to pull another fun-sized, shy-looking boy inside with him.

 

“Hey, _nerd_. We don’t remember extending our invitation to nerd 2.0.”

 

“Seongwoo!” Minhyun chides, coupled with Daniel’s and Jihoon’s giggles from the back.

 

Sungwoon just smiles, knowing Seongwoo is more than happy to see him back here. He pulls Taehyun to the front of the group.

 

“This is Noh Taehyun,” Sungwoon introduces, and then he looks back at the four. “And they are…”

 

“ _The Breakfast Club_ ,” Seongwoo decides, rising up to position and holding his hand out to their new official member of the club whose name he’d just came up with just because he was daydreaming about being somewhere else other than here.

 

But now, Seongwoo decides.

 

There’s nowhere else he’d rather be.

 

“It’s a pleasure to be here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp. *dusts hands* that's that.
> 
> the finale they all deserved tbh.
> 
> thank you all for sticking around ever since the first edition to this breakfast club series, i know i took a long time to update the final chapter but i hope it lives up to expectations! 
> 
> this story is really special to me because of the characters and i think i put a bit of me in every character here and i was really attached to all their personal stories so it means so much when you guys say you like it and all heh. i really hope you all find yourselves somewhere in this really confusing world one day and get the ending you deserve!!
> 
> again, thank u for supporting me and my stories <3
> 
> do leave a comment and talk to me on twitter @bapaldeul :D


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